Sometimes I feel bad about the way things are going in my life, and then I watch an episode of Dexter and remember to thank God I’m not Deb

(Before I begin this post I just want to mention that anyone not up to date with their Dexter watching probably shouldn’t read it as I’ll be talking about events in the most recent episode.)

I became a Dexter fan about 2 years ago and it is in my extremely valued (I’ve watched a lot of tv)opinion that it is one of the best shows of all time.  I can’t remember the last time I liked all the character’s on a show as much as I like the characters on Dexter.  The only person I ever didn’t like was Rita (I thought she was annoying and was anxiously waiting for her to die ever since I looked on IMDB and saw she was only on the show through season 4), but aside from that the characters and the actors who play them are all great in my opinion.  However there is one character on the show that always makes me think the same thing every season,’ man I’m glad I’m not Deb.’  While she has been fairly successful at Miami Metro, her personal life has basically been total shit for the entire series, lets examine:

Season 1:

In this first season Deb falls in love with ‘Rudy Cooper,’ who seems to be the man of her dreams.  In reality Rudy’s actual name is Brian, and he is Dexter’s brother and the ‘ice truck killer’ serial killer they have been pursuing throughout the season.  Ultimately Dexter chooses his sister over his brother and saves Deb after she has been bound by Rudy following the scene above.  However anytime you get engaged and that person turns out to be a serial killer there’s a pretty good chance you have a shitty life (not to mention the fact her brother is also a serial killer, but she still has awhile at this point before she has to deal with that).

Season 2:

In this season Deb is dealing with the fallout from her former fiance trying to kill her, this leads her to move in with Dexter for comfort (good thing she didn’t know about the serial killer thing yet).  This season also has Deb falling for a new man, FBI Special Agent Frank Lundy, a much older detective who is an expert at catching serial killers.  At the end of this season, as they think the ‘bay harbor butcher’ mystery has been solved, Lundy leaves Miami, choosing his career over a relationship with Deb.  So now after two seasons we’re up to one serial killer ex-fiance, and one old guy dumping (not to mention the fact her brother is a serial killer, and almost equally upsetting for Deb, emotionally unavailable).

Season 3:

This season is really not that bad for Deb compared to some of the others.  She begins a relationship with confidential informant Anton Briggs, and has to save him for serial killer George King ‘the skinner,’ but other than that nothing too terrible happens.  Also man there are a lot of serial killers in Miami, I already didn’t want to live in Florida and Dexter has only helped me realize I’m making the right decision.  Deb ultimately decides she needs to end her relationship with Anton for the good of her career.  As I said overall this season not as bad as the previous ones, so to this point we have one serial killer ex-fiance, one old guy dumping, and one boyfriend who was kidnapped by a serial killer and eventually broken up with to avoid ethical issues in your career.

Season 4:

After a season of kind of taking it easy on her, things really turn to shit for Deb in season 4 (also one of the 2 best seasons in my opinion).  Special Agent Frank Lundy (old guy dumper) is back to track the ‘trinity killer’ in Miami (again this town is all fucking serial killers).  However as you can see from the scene above his return doesn’t go that well as he is shot by Trinity’s daughter with the bullet striking Deb as well.  This results in not only another former love interest dying, and being shot, but also in Deb being removed from the Trinity investigation (although she is later reinstated).  This season also has Deb discovering that Brian (Rudy, her ex-fiance) is actually Dexter’s brother after she recognizes Laura Moser’s house as the one Brian (Rudy) brought her to to kill her in season 1.  So now after 4 seasons our count is at: one serial killer ex-fiance, one (now dead) old guy dumping, one relationship ended to save her career, one bullet to the mid section, and the discovery that her brother is also the brother of her serial killer ex-fiance.

Season 5:

At the end of season 4, Rita (Dexter’s wife) is found murdered in the bathtub, and looks to be a victim of the Trinity killer (what a shame).  In this season Deb has to help Dexter cope with losing his wife and caring for his young son (they ship the two older step kids off to live with the grandparents, which was a plus since they were annoying too).  In this season Deb becomes involved with her partner, detective Joey Quinn (and proves the old standard that workplace romance is never a good idea).  For an additional strain on their relationship Quinn spends much of the season trying to prove Dexter is the Kyle Butler sought in connection with the Trinity killings (Dexter is Kyle Butler, the fake name he gave to Trinity’s family).  Deb is also forced to take the fall when a sting operation in the Santa Muerte case goes bad, leading her to be relegated to the file room for a brief time period.  Finally the end of this season shows Dexter as a killer to Deb for the first time.  Deb catches up to Dexter and Lumen before they can escape after killing Jordan Chase, however there is plastic sheeting up between Deb and the other two and she cannot make out who the killers are.  Deb lets Dexter and Lumen escape deciding that one of the killers must have been a former victim of Chase, and allowing them to carry out vigilante justice.  So after 5 seasons the count is at: one serial killer ex-fiance, one (now dead) old guy dumping, one relationship ended to save her career, one bullet to the midsection, the discovery that her brother is also the brother of her serial killer ex-fiance, and one bad work relationship (plus some other small stuff).

Season 6:

From this season to the present things are generally terrible for Deb.  Deb is controversially named the new lieutenant, and is consistently lead in the wrong direction by LaGuerta as she begins the job (LaGuerta, formerly the Lieutenant and now the captain has always been hard on Deb, add that to the list of shitty things in her life).  This season also marks the second marriage proposal in the series for Deb (this time from Quinn), however this time she says no, leading to the end of their relationship.  During this season Deb also witnesses the murder of one of the Dooms Day Killer’s (DDK) victims, in a graphic fallen angel scene.  Deb is in therapy this season (as she has been previously in the series, can’t imagine why she would need it), and the crazy therapist suggests among other things that she may be in love with her brother (Dexter), leading to some bizarre cut scenes.  On a side note, does anyone else think it’s got to be weird for Jennifer Carpenter and Michael C. Hall to continue to do this show after being married, seems a little uncomfortable to me but I guess that’s why they’re actors.  Finally to close out the season Deb arrives just as Dexter has killed Travis Marshall (DDK), and finally catches him actually committing a murder.

So now at the end of 6 seasons are count is at: one serial killer ex-fiance, one (now dead) old guy dumping, one relationship ended to save her career, one bullet to the midsection, the discovery that her brother is also the brother of her serial killer ex-fiance, one bad work relationship (now over and even more awkward), one shitty boss, one crazy therapist, one serial killer brother, and some other stuff I’m sure I’m forgetting.

Season 7:

This current season picked up where season 6 left off with Deb and Dexter in the church following the killing of Travis Marshall.  Deb ultimately decides to help Dexter burn down the church to cover up the murder and destroy evidence, compromising her new position as lieutenant.  Deb finds Dexter’s blood slides and kill supplies at the end of the first episode of this season, this causes Dexter to admit he is in fact a serial killer. (This is pretty upsetting for Deb even though you’d think at this point nothing would really surprise her). The beginning of this season also marks the demise of the new hot-shot detective from last season, Mike Anderson, who is shot by a man from the strip club owning mobster group that appears to be the main villain for this season.  Deb decides the best course of action is to have Dexter move in with her so she can monitor him every moment of the day and prevent him from killing anyone else.  Dexter attempts to prove to Deb that his killings are justified by pursuing a killer (Ray Speltzer) who slipped through the cracks in the legal system, and showing Deb the proof he is guilty.  At the end of the most recent episode Deb catches Speltzer during his latest kill.  Deb is attacked by Speltzer but Dexter arrives in time to save her, and she is forced to admit what Dexter does may serve a purpose.  So this brings us to the present and our count is: one serial killer ex-fiance, one (now dead) old guy dumping, one relationship ended to save her career, one bullet to the midsection, the discovery that her brother is also the brother of her serial killer ex-fiance, one bad work relationship (now over, slightly less awkward this season), one shitty boss, one crazy therapist, one dead co-worker (kinda 2 but louis was only an intern), one serial killer brother, and again some stuff I’m sure I’m forgetting.

I think that we can all agree that for just over 6 seasons of television that is a lot of shit to go through. And that is why every time some new shitty thing happens to her, no matter how badly things might be going for me in real life, I take a moment to thank God I’m not Deb. (now being Jennifer Carpenter on the other hand I might take, things seem to be going pretty well for her. I’d even act like I was in love with my ex-husband/fictional brother who just recently had cancer in real life. On second thought maybe things aren’t that great for her, I’ve got to think about this some more).

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