Nothing Says Romance Like Soulja Boy (The Bachelorette Episode 2 Recap)


I’m going to be live blogging this week’s episode of The Bachelorette because my work schedule is making it pretty much impossible to post tomorrow.  The good news is that means the post will be up earlier than normal, the bad news is my brain generally shuts down around dinner time, so this will really be pushing my limits.  Luckily, this is The Bachelorette we’re talking about, and it doesn’t take too much brain power to recap this show.  Now that I’ve got that bit of housekeeping/my excuse for possibly writing a shitty post out-of-the-way, let’s get started with our first dates on this season of The Bachelorette!


We’ll be following the standard weekly formula for The Bachelor/The Bachelorette with a group date and two one-on-one dates each week.  This week, first up with a one-on-one date is Brooks.  Des decides to skip a few steps and takes Brooks wedding dress shopping for their first date.  (This is too much for a first date even for Jessica from The Real World).  The pair gets into their wedding attire, and then heads up to the Hollywood sign for a picnic.  (I’m starting to doubt Desiree’s date planning abilities already).  The couple continues on with one of the more bizarre dates in the shows history with the next portion of the date taking place on a closed off bridge in Los Angeles.  During this part of the date the pair shares dinner, and Brooks opens up about his parents divorce and his difficult relationship with his father.  After dinner the pair is treated by a private concert by Andy Grammer.  Nothing say’s your career isn’t going quite in the direction you planned like following up your one hit wonder with a performance on The Bachelorette.  (Grammer had radio success with the song Keep Your Head Up, here’s the link to the You Tube video if you want to refresh your memory).  For all its randomness the date seems to be a success.  Brooks seems like a nice guy, and he and Des hit it off fairly quickly.  Early rumors have Brooks doing very well on the show, and he gets a rose at the end of tonight’s date, so things look good so far.


Time for the group date, but never fear, the randomness is still totally here.  Rhyming is awesome, especially when the group date is shooting a rap video!  And you’ll never guess who’s there to help, Soulja Boy! (There should be a new summer concert series called the Washed Up tour for all the past performers from episodes of The Bachelor/Bachelorette).  The guys show off their rhyming abilities, and dance moves before Soulja Boy selects who will star in the video, and who will be relegated to the back up dancer position.  (Fun fact, the only black guy on the cast is also the worst dancer.  Too bad that will probably be the only stereotype he proves wrong on this show because I don’t see him sticking around too much longer).  The video consists of a series of verses with Des and each of the guys Soulja Boy selected.  The highlight goes to Brandon who was forced to wear a man thong and flash Desiree during his verse.  (Being forced to wear a man thong should be an automatic rose on this show).  Following the video it’s time for the standard group date cocktail party.  Zak W. (aka the shirtless guy) is the first one with alone time with Des.  He gives her an antique journal with an inscription from a father to his daughter to show he’s not just the clown in the house, and that he’s here for the “right reasons” (like the rap video).  Des seems to really like the journal, unfortunately now Cara’s dad knows she never even used the journal he got her.  He’s probably sitting at home crying as we speak, good job producers.  Brandon wins the honor of first guy to cry during this season of The Bachelorette, he sheds some tears while telling Des about his childhood.  (The guy did have a tough life, but it may have been a little too tough for Des, so looked more freaked out than touched while he was telling his story).  Finally, Ben appears to be playing the Tierra role on this show (at least for now).  During the cocktail party several guys discuss that they feel Ben may not be there for the “right reasons.”  Des doesn’t seem to share the guys apprehension about Ben though because he leaves the group date with the rose, and a few new enemies.

The final one-on-one date of the night goes to Bryden (the Iraq War veteran).  Des and Bryden’s date is a road trip around California, complete with beaches, kite flying, oranges groves, and home videos.  During the dinner portion of their date Bryden tells Desiree about a bad car accident he was in while he was working a construction job, and the good news is, he brought pictures!  Nothing goes with a romantic dinner like pictures of you after a horrific car accident.  Personally, I don’t see a great connection between Des and Bryden.  At this point I kind of see him as being like Sarah (the one-armed girl) from Sean’s season of The Bachelor.  His background story makes him too sympathetic of a character for Des to send him home early, but he doesn’t seem like the right guy for her either.  Their conversation is pretty awkward, and eventually they just end up making out to instead of continuing to try to force conversation.

Time for some more drama between Ben and the other guys at the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party.  Mike G. has just settled in to tell Des about his type one diabetes when Ben swoops in and steals her away.  Mike and the other guys (Mikey in particular) are incensed that Ben would take time with Desiree at the beginning of the night when he already has a rose.  The show is really playing up the “Ben’s not here for the right reasons” angle, but I don’t really see the guy having bad intentions.  He seems more like just a regular lame-o bachelorette contestant than a nut job like Tierra (which is a bummer).  Also, it’s worth pointing out that these guys could have just gone and stolen Des from Ben instead of sitting around b*tching behind his back like a bunch of middle school girls.  (On a side note, did Brandon only bring one suit to the show, or does he only own pinstripe suits?)  Looks like the drama between the guys won’t be ending anytime soon, because all the guys causing trouble in the house will be sticking around for another week.  The guys going home this week are Will, (the token minority) Robert, (the sign spinner) and Nick (not much stands out about him, which is never a good sign).

Next week it looks like the conflict between Ben and the other guys could be coming to its climax.  (There is a voice over saying sometimes things have to get physical, and then a shot of someone being attended to by medical personnel, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this is just clever editing by the producers like with Tierra’s fall during The Bachelor).  It also looks like we’ll be finding out who the cheater is next week, as they showed a clip of the other woman arriving to confront one of the guys.  It looks like things are going to be heating up quick on this season of The Bachelorette.  See you Thursday for a recap of The Real World Portland, and next Tuesday for a recap of next week’s episode of The Bachelorette.

If you can’t wait that long to get some more time with Desiree, here’s a link to the video she made with Soulja Boy to tide you over until next week.  (Pretty sure Des doesn’t have a career in rap videos in her future).

Here’s the link to this week’s episode if you missed out and want to watch it online. (Link)

Thoughts/Questions/Concerns? Feel free to contact me via email – or on Twitter – @NoOneGoesToClev


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