Welcome to the Sh*t Show (The Real World Portland Episode 11 Recap with Bonus Sh*t they should’ve shown)

MTV Real World 28 Portland

 

Here we are folks, it’s the episode we’ve been waiting for!  This week’s episode starts out a little slow, but by the end we’re into the full-blown brawl between Nia and Averey that the show has been teasing all seasons.  Before we get there though I’ll touch on the other topics covered this week such as Jessica’s burgeoning relationship with God, her deteriorating relationship with Anastasia, and Daisy’s shitting problems.

This week open’s with Jessica having a revelation following her painful break up with Tyler.  She has decided she needs to take an oath of purity and not engage in relationships that ultimately don’t go anywhere.  Anastasia feels this way of thinking is foolish as it limits your ability to learn  and grow from past relationships.  Ana becomes frustrated and ultimately has to storm out of the yogurt cart (I’m guessing she really wishes she’d just worked at Pizza Schmizza with everyone else right about now).  While Jessica is at the mall buying her purity ring to show how serious she is about this decision, Averey mentions that she could never take that kind of oath. (Not much of a revelation there, don’t think many nympho’s decide to take a sudden purity oath).  Most of the roommates agree that the purity ring is more of an attention grab for Jessica than an actual moment of spiritual clarity.  Anastasia is so annoyed by the idea that this is just another attempt to get attention by Jessica that she finally confronts her, and ultimately tells her that she doesn’t feel like they can be friends any longer.  Jessica responds by saying that back home “she loves everyone and everyone loves her.”  (This just goes to show that people in the south are too polite, poor Jessica thinks all those people actually like her).

Moving on, Jessica isn’t the only one who is full of sh*t on this show, Daisy (the dog) is pretty full of it too.  (Probably because all the roommates feed her ham and cheese and ranch dressing, and basically anything they have that isn’t dog food).  Daisy’s shit in the house is the beginning of the blow up between Averey and Nia.  Nia steps in dog sh*t in the confessional, and refuses to clean it up.  This upsets Averey and Johnny who feel that since Nia stepped in it, she should be the one who cleans it out of the rug.  Personally I’ve really got to side with Nia on this one.  When you own a dog it’s your responsibility to take it out so it doesn’t sh*t in the house, and if you fail to do that, then it’s your responsibility to clean up after it.  While it’s a nice gesture for the other roommates to help out with Daisy, since they all play with her and feed her crap, ultimately the only one who is responsible for her is Averey.  Averey and Johnny end up cleaning up the sh*t, but decide Nia shouldn’t go unpunished and tell her if she doesn’t want to clean up after Daisy she can’t play with her anymore either.  (Honestly I don’t think Daisy would miss hanging out with Nia that much.  Like any dog she likes any person that gives her food, but she looks kind of bummed out whenever Nia is holding her).

Nia antagonizes Johnny and Averey by continuing to play with Daisy, and by claiming Daisy is her dog.  Instead of walking away from Nia when she is obviously just trying to make them upset, Johnny exchanges words with her in the bathroom, and attempts to dump a drink on her head.  And now it’s time for the real sh*t show to begin!  Nia goes into beast mode and starts pounding on Johnny’s head, while he just covers up and waits for help in the form of Jordan and Marlon.  (Seems like kind of a double standard that if a dude had hit Johnny that way he would have been sent packing no questions asked).  Nia is really not good at walking away from a fight, even when the other person walks away first.  Despite the first round being broken up, Nia wants to go for round two, and this time she’s bringing a broken blow dryer to the fight.  She lays in wait for Johnny and attacks him when he steps through the door.  Luckily for Johnny, Averey is waiting there too, and she knows to go right for the weave to slow Nia down.  It takes all three boys to get Nia and Averey separated, but things finally start to cool down somewhat, with Averey managing to stop the insanity, even after getting a face full of water from Nia in an attempt to get the rumble restarted.  (My personal favorite parts of this fight were Averey’s “boop” after throwing Nia’s torn out hair extensions at her, and the video of Jessica and Anastasia hiding in their bedroom, making peace with each other like the world is ending).

Unfortunately for everyone but Nia (and the viewing audience) this fight doesn’t end for long.  This week’s episode closes out with Nia giving Averey the slap to the back of the head we’ve all been waiting for, and a to be continued.  Next week it looks like we’ll be seeing the conclusion to the fight, and a vote to decide if Nia should be allowed to remain in the Real World house.  (I can’t really see them kicking her out this close to the end, but you never know).  Additionally, in the sneak peek on MTV.com we see Nia talking to her trainer Dom, and convincing him she is somehow the victim in this situation, so if we’re lucky this fight might be straight through the series finale.  Ok, enough drama for now, let’s look at some highlights from the “sh*t they should’ve shown” episode.

The Sh*t They Should’ve Shown

-The show opens up with more discussion of Averey’s sexual prowess, and her advanced knowledge of sex shop paraphernalia.  (Johnny must know how lucky he is in this situation, that’s probably why he’s the one who was always out walking Daisy in the rain).

-We also discover the real reason Jessica was dating Tyler during the show – toilet paper.  Apparently no one in the house wanted to take responsibility for buying it, and then Tyler came to the rescue and gave them cases because he worked for a paper company.  I’m sure this fact made it an extra sad day for everyone in the house when that break up email from Tyler rolled in.

-We learn Jordan had groupies who used to stand out on the street and beg for his underwear.  (Seriously the local chicks in Portland were weird.  What are you going to do with the dudes underwear?  It’s not like he’s Justin Bieber or something, and you could sell the underwear on Ebay to some other crazy chick).

That’s really all I’ve got for this week.  We didn’t get much new material in “The Sh*t they Should’ve Shown” episode, lots of Johnny pooping, Bird stealing construction cones, and Averey talking about sex, all stuff we’ve seen before.  I’ll see you on Tuesday for a recap of The Bachelorette, and next Thursday for a recap of the rest of Averey and Nia’s fight.

-If you missed this week’s episode, and love commercials, click here to watch online at MTV.com.

-Here’s the link for the extra sneak peek from MTV.com if you want to see Nia playing the victim to her trainer Dom.

-Thoughts, questions, comments? Feel free to contact me via email – SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter – @NoOneGoesToClev

 

2 thoughts on “Welcome to the Sh*t Show (The Real World Portland Episode 11 Recap with Bonus Sh*t they should’ve shown)

  1. NIA IS A STUPID ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT! JOHNNY SHOULD LET AVEREY KICK HER SORRY ASS CAUSE I’ M SURE SHE CAN! AVEREY WON THAT FIRST FIGHT BY FAR!

    • I love Nia, she cracks me up, and is basically the only cast member making this season watchable. But I don’t totally get her logic for hating Averey, and I agree Averey probably won the Nia/Averey portion of the fight.

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