Welcome to week two of my live-ish blogging of The Bachelorette. As I mentioned last week, traditionally I watch the show through once, and then re-watch the next day while I write my post. However, for this, the second week in a row, real life circumstances are preventing me from being able to write the post tomorrow. So, to save my dedicated readers (all two of you) from the agony of waiting until Wednesday for this week’s post, I’ll be writing as I watch tonight, and posting shortly after the episode ends. Before I get into this week’s episode I have one more bit of information to pass on. Apparently last week’s episode of The Bachelorette was the worst rated second episode in the show’s history (it got a 1.7 in the ratings). I was pretty surprised and intrigued by this fact. I thought going into this season that everyone liked Des, (the producer’s must have thought so too) but maybe that’s not true. It’s hard to believe viewers managed to write off all the guys in one episode, even though it is kind of a mediocre group. So it seems like Des is most likely the problem, or maybe there was some other really good show on last Monday I’m not remembering. Feel free to leave your thoughts on why you think this season is struggling, and if you think thing will pick up after this week’s drama.
This week’s episode mixes things up a little bit by having two group dates and one one-on-one date with Des. First up is a group date where the guys get to play a good old-fashioned game of dodgeball. But before the guys can get to their game to determine which team will get a shot at winning Desiree’s heart, they have to get some training from professionals. That’s right, there are “professional” dodgeball players. (This would be a good thing for women to keep in mind next time they meet someone who says they’re a professional athlete, make sure you check what sport before you get overly impressed). I will give the professionals credit though, they are really good at dodgeball. Luckily for the bachelors, Chris Harrison shows up and tells them they won’t be playing the pro’s all day, but will instead be dividing up into two teams and playing against each other. This is a scenario we saw on The Bachelor, where the winning team gets to move on to the cocktail party portion of the date and the losing team goes home early. The blue team (made up of Ben, Drew, Zack K, Brad, Brian) wins the first game, and Des gives this great pep talk to the red team (Mikey, Michael, Brooks, Chris, Brandon) before the second match starts, “whatever you guys did last time isn’t working,” way to lift their morale Des. Despite the less than inspiring speech, the red team comes storming back and takes the second game in decisive fashion. The third game is delayed briefly by our first injury of the season, Brooks breaks his finger going for a ball during the opening scrum, and has to be taken to the hospital. The red team, clearly playing for heavy hearts for their fallen comrade, couldn’t manage a second straight victory, and the blue team ended up taking the match. The red team doesn’t have to feel bad for long though, as Des announces after the game that she is taking everyone to the cocktail party. At the cocktail party Brad gets the first one-on-one time with Des, and decides to use it to let her know Ben isn’t the only single dad in the house (he has a three-year old). Later in the evening, Brooks makes his triumphant return, looking a little worse for wear, and still sporting his dodgeball uniform (headband and all). Brooks and Des have a pretty awkward conversation, (maybe because he was drugged up, maybe because they’re just awkward) and then decide the talking thing isn’t really working and they should just make out for a while. The surprise of the night comes when Des decides to give Chris the rose over Brooks, and Brad. Chris not only gets the rose but also gets a little bonus of a private concert for him and Des, complete with dancing and making out. (I like Chris, he seems like a good guy, he pulled off the shoe tie joke well during the into’s, I’m glad to see Des is giving him some more time).
Next up is supposed to be the one-on-one date with Kasey, (hashtag guy) but before Des can leave to go pick him up she gets an upsetting call from Chris Harrison. (What’s more upsetting is the flesh-colored tights Des is wearing that make her look naked from the waist down. Who is dressing her for this show?). Chris let’s Des know that they’ve gotten info that one of the guys is being dishonest, and she needs to head over to the house and confront him. When Des gets to the house we learn that Brian is the guy guilty of having a girlfriend back home (sorta). Brian’s girlfriend comes out, and confronts him, saying she thought they were just on a break. (which mean’s they aren’t actually dating, right?) The woman then goes on a rant about her son, and a variety of other women Brian was supposedly dating while they were seeing each other. Brian defends himself by saying they had a rocky relationship, and he really means it, he later says she literally threw rocks in his face. Brian ultimately admits he slept with this crazy chick two nights before he left for the show, but insists they hadn’t actually been dating for a while. After watching this whole scene go down, and reading Brian’s response to what he hopes to get out of coming on the show, (“I hope to get an in-depth look in a larger-than-normal-life setting of the reality of the idea of love and connection. The idea of the integration of normal love and companionship into the various situations this show presents would be something I believe very worthwhile.”) it kind of feels like he was a plant, or at the very least not there for the “right reasons.” (God that was such a good title for that rap song). In the end Brian is sent packing, and the only one who really seems too upset over the whole situation is Brandon, who is reminded of men walking in and out of his life when he was a child. (Quick reminder, Brandon is the guy with the drug addict mother who was left to raise his young siblings. He’s also leading the competition for most times crying on camera amongst the guys so far this season).
With Brian safely on a plane back home, it’s time for Kasey and Des to finally head out on their one-on-one date. They go bandalooping, which is dancing on the side of a building, and which is also really stupid. Des and Kasey are both not feeling their activity, Des due to the Brian situation, and Kasey because he’s afraid of heights, so they decide to call things quits a little early and head to dinner. The night just keeps getting better for Kasey and Des. They attempt to have dinner on top of the building they were just dancing on, when a freak wind storm whips up and starts blowing their little set up to pieces. So, like any logical people in a wind storm, they decide to jump in the pool to keep warm. But oh no! Foiled again, the pool is freezing! They try to make the best of it and spend some time making out in the pool with towels on their heads before finally admitting defeat and heading inside. They wrap things up with a pity rose in the stairwell for Kasey thus ending the most awkwardly awesome date in bachelorette history.
The last date of the night is another group date with the guys going through a “cowboy boot camp” and then putting on a scene with stunt men to earn some one-on-one time with Des. Juan Pablo works his “latin lover” charm to perfection, and ends up getting to spend some time alone with Des watching a movie. Not a ton of excitement during the evening portion of this group date. We learn Bryden still has no game, as Des is forced to initiate their make out session once again. And we learn Des is kind of a sucker for sob stories, as James gets the rose after talking about his dad’s illness, and asking for affirmation from Des that she is interested in him, and that he isn’t wasting his time staying in the house.
Finally, to close out the show Chris Harrison shows up and tells the guys that they will be having a pool party in place of the usual evening cocktail party. However, there is a little drama before the party can get started. Ben waits for Des at the door and snatches her away for a quick drive in the Bentley before she can spend time with the other guys. Unfortunately for Ben, he gets spotted by Mikey (his nemesis) as he is getting out of the Bentley, and his secret time with Des isn’t so secret anymore. Later on at the pool party Mikey and Michael decide to confront Ben for lying, and saying he hasn’t spent time with Des yet when they know he was with her earlier in the car. Ben responds by saying he won’t apologize for going after Des, and that he is there for her and not to make friends with the other guys. (These confrontations with Ben really aren’t working out too well, and I think the guys will learn it doesn’t pay to focus on another contestant rather than the prize). The final highlight of the pool party is Brandon being the first guy to tell Des he’s falling in love with her. (I know this poor dude has really had a rough life, but he seems a little unstable and I think it’s time to send him home before he really loses it).
Des seems to agree with me about Brandon because he is one of the two guys headed home this week after the rose ceremony. He pulls out her own line by telling her she’s making a huge mistake, but she tells him the chemistry just wasn’t there, and she thought it was better to do it now rather than later. (Good call Des) The other guy going home this week is Dan, the only thing I really remember about him is that he said he’d be open to being the next bachelor if this didn’t work out. (Looks like plan B is pretty much out the window now too, poor Dan).
Next week the group is headed off to Atlantic City. It also looks like more guys will be joining the “I hate Ben” club. The preview shows Bryden being the one to speak up and tell Des about concerns over Ben, he may have more like than Mikey or Michael, but ultimately there’s no way the producers are letting Ben go home anytime soon. That’s all for tonight, see you Thursday for The Real World Portland recap, and see you next Tuesday (probably) for another recap of The Bachelorette.
If you missed this week’s episode and want to watch online here’s the link.
Thoughts/Questions/Comments? Feel free to contact me via email – SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter – @NoOneGoesToClev