Tragically, I got back from vacation yesterday. The good news is this means I’ll finally be able to write recaps of shows you’ve all already watched and forgotten about by now. Technically I should probably do my recap of last week’s episode of The Bachelorette first, as that is on earlier in the week, but I like The Challenge better, so I’m going to talk about that first. Before I get too deep into my recap about this week’s episode, in which Anastasia becomes a skinny version of Shauvon, (as in CT bangs her to make Diem upset, and she goes home almost immediately after) I want to share a great interview with Frank done by Grantland. Juliet Litman had Frank on during this week’s reality tv podcast, and it may be the greatest interview with a reality television cast member in history. Not only does Frank reveal secrets like production turning off the air conditioning to keep everyone feisty, and Johnny Banana’s encouraging him to huff computer keyboard cleaner that was stolen from the crew, but he also comes off as much more likable than his on camera persona. Here is the link, (Update, this is a new link that should get you to the removed interview with Frank) and I highly encourage all of you to listen to this interview, and to this weekly podcast in general, as it is always entertaining. Moving on, we had another exciting episode this week with a fight between CT and Frank, a fight between CT and Anastasia, and the saddest welcome in challenge history, so let’s get started.
Things start out this week with the CT/Diem/Anastasia love triangle still alive and well. Anastasia say’s in the opening that she’s afraid she may be starting to like CT a little more than she should. (Seeing as CT is only using Anastasia to help stay out of an elimination round, I’d say liking him any would be a big mistake). After Diem walks in on CT and Anastasia flirting, she and CT have a conversation about Diem not “appreciating” him enough, this seems to quickly be broken up by Aneesa,aka the only person on the planet who doesn’t seem to want the greatest love story of our time to be rekindled. (My favorite part of this segment is that while CT and Diem are talking, Emily is just randomly running wind sprints back and forth past them, she’s the best). A short time later, Frank is innocently eating a delicious grilled cheese in the kitchen when CT tells Trishelle he never had sex with Anastasia. (According to Frank’s interview they had sex in the jungle, not where eliminations take place, the actual jungle). Frank decides he needs to call CT’s bluff, and things quickly escalate between the two into a shoving match that ends with CT’s shirt being ripped open.
Another fun fact from the interview, Frank apparently punched Knight (who was trying to break up the fight) in the head, but it isn’t shown on camera. (It’s also fun to speculate that production intentionally didn’t show this so they could avoid throwing Frank off, without having it look like the “no fighting” policy had been violated).
Moving right along, it’s challenge time! Before the start of this week’s challenge TJ announces that Cooke’s new partner has arrived, and the new partner is: Cara Maria! (It’s not actually exciting, I just used an exclamation point because I felt bad about the lack of enthusiasm when she showed up). Cara Maria jogs up the beach, and is met by deafening silence (aside from some half-hearted clapping by Cooke) when TJ announces her as the new cast member. It’s unclear to me why Cara Maria still comes on these challenges. Maybe she doesn’t get picked on enough at home, or maybe she’s just really desperate for some cash, either way her arrival certainly makes Cooke a much bigger threat than when she was teamed with Naomi.
The producer’s decided this was “super random challenge” week and created the “XXX Games” to fit the theme. This challenge started off with the teammates cutting a log with their pelvic thrusting ability, and then moved on to running an obstacle course strapped together with your crotch in the other persons face. Finally at the end of the obstacle course a “ball gag” had to be spit into a hole to stop the timer (great game MTV). While this challenge was totally bizarre, it did at least provide some nice pictures.
(This image of Camila’s head squeezing through the tires is my personal favorite).
In the end we had repeat winners on both sides as Emily and Paula won for the girls, and Zach and Trey took him the win on the guys side. Wes and Preston both refused to have their faces near their teammates crotch, and got their teams disqualified. The guys originally thought there would be no penalty for getting DQ’d, as it wasn’t a guys elimination challenge, but TJ announced after the game was over that the teams will be assessed a penalty for next week’s challenge. Jessica and Anastasia finish in last place for the girls so they are sent directly to the jungle. It is later decided by the guys that the always popular Cara Maria, and her teammate Cooke will be the team facing them in the elimination round.
Before we can head into the elimination round we need some more love triangle action. Anastasia claims to Theresa that she is totally naive on CT and Diem’s past, and becomes upset at the idea he may still have feelings for his former flame. (Theresa breaks in situation down in literary terms by telling Anastasia CT not having feelings for Diem would be like Romeo not having feelings for Juliet). After Theresa gives her this eye opener, Anastasia physically confronts CT, who states afterwards that this was the first fight he’s lost in challenge history. Luckily Knight comes to CT rescue once again, and we can move on to the elimination round.
This week’s elimination challenge features the teammates hanging upside down while attempting to cut a large rope using tiny saws, doing this will drop their opponents into a pool of water and give them the victory. Things have really not gone well for Anastasia during her first stint on The Challenge, and that continues during this elimination round. Before the game can even begin Anastasia claims she is light-headed and about to pass out. TJ looks skeptical, but calls in the medics to give her some juice while they wait for her to calm down. Unfortunately for Cooke, she really needs to pee, and Anastasia is taking her sweet time with that juice, this leads to Cooke being the first person to pee during an elimination round (that we know of anyways). Predictably Cooke and Cara Maria win the game and are safe from elimination. (CT proved how strong his feelings were for Anastasia by giving Cooke and Cara Maria advice before the game started). Following the loss, Anastasia is once again feeling light-headed, and is led away by medics, this prompts TJ to say: “I guess you shouldn’t smoke and not eat” during his send off speech to the fallen team. Finally, to close out the elimination round talk, Anastasia had one of my favorite quotes of the night. Talking about her next appearance on The Challenge, Anastasia say’s next time she will come back with a thicker skin, and she’ll come back “bulkier.” Does she mean like emotionally bulkier, or is she literally planning to gain wait before the next challenge, either way more bulk seems like a good thing for her.
This week’s episode closes out with the budding romance between Sarah and Jordan who decide to hook up in everyone’s favorite make out spot, the closet. These two seem like kind of an interesting pairing, Jordan goes as far as to say Sarah is the type of girl you marry (and that he’s nowhere near ready for that). Sarah’s hook ups on these shows never last very long though, so I’m not expecting much going forward from these two.
Next episode it looks like we’ll be getting the fight between Aneesa and Trishelle that I’ve been salivating over since I first saw the trailer. There’s also going to be a bonus fight between Marlon and Knight, according to Frank this fight came about after Knight took a real cheap shot at Marlon, my guess would be something about the gay sex thing, but we’ll have to wait and see. It definitely looks like I picked the right week to come back from vacation, I’ll see you tomorrow for a double recap of The Bachelorette, and I’ll be back on the regular schedule with a recap of The Challenge on Thursday, see you then.
If you missed this week’s episode and want to watch online here’s the link.
Thoughts/Questions/Comments – You can reach me via email – SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter – @NoOneGoesToClev
No One Goes To Vacation In Cleveland 