The Men Tell Surprisingly Little (A Recap of The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All)

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Personally, I hate these the men/women tell all specials.  They’re basically just an excuse by the producers to get people to watch two hours of filler material, and topics that have been beaten to death already during the show.  That being said, I’m obviously not going to spend a ton of time talking about this “special” because it didn’t provide many new things to talk about.  Instead I’m just going to pass on some observations, and then I’m going to start resting up for next week’s fantasy suite episode.

The show goes for the filler material right in the beginning with footage of Des and Chris Harrison visiting viewing parties for the show.  I had a couple of thoughts while I was watching this segment:

1.  Who dresses up this much to watch The Bachelorette?  I usually watch in sweatpants covered in chip crumbs, and I really feel that’s a better representation of “Bachelor Nation.”

2.  Where did they find all the dudes that are at these parties?  Everyone know’s no self-respecting guy watches this show, I think someone paid them to  be there.

3.  Why did they decide to bring along all the former cast members, (Trista, Ashley, J.P, etc) were people not very excited to see just Des?

Next up they go with another filler segment, Des talking to former bachelorette’s Emily, Ali and Ashley about how to confront “bad boys.” I just have two things about this piece:

1. What was the point of having Ashley there?  I don’t think she got a word out the entire conversation.

2. This second one isn’t really an observation, just a confession, I went to college with Ali.  I’m sure you’re all horribly jealous right now, but I felt like I had to let you know.

Finally it’s time to start chatting with the guys.

-During Ben’s segment Dan reveals that Ben’s baby mama approached him in Vegas, and told him that Ben had cheated on his girlfriend with her (gasp!).  Dan also say’s he learned that Ben just put in for custody of his son after the show ended.  So much for “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”

-We could have skipped James segment, and just watched someone literally beat a dead horse, and it would have been more exciting.  (That also kind of sad though, so on second thought I’m glad that didn’t happen).  James, Mikey and Kasey still can’t agree between the three of them who said what for sure, or what any of it actually meant.  The one good part of this segment was a nice shot of the shocked/disappointed grandma in the audience:

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-The next segment features the star of the night, Juan Pablo.  Juan Pablo closed out the previous segment by zinging James, saying he wouldn’t let him date his daughter or his sister right now, and keeps things light during his interview by making fun of Desiree’s pronunciation of his name.  He definitely got the biggest cheers of the night, aided by a personal cheering section, complete with t-shirts.  With all the positive response to Juan Pablo, I want to know why he couldn’t be the next bachelor.  I know he finished outside the range they normally choose from, but I’d much rather watch a full season of him charming the chicks than sit through one of Chris reciting poetry.

Finally, to close things out, we get to see Des come out and chat with some of the fella’s.

-They start out with Jonathan, (fantasy suite guy) and Des really comes out swinging saying her impression of him was that he was “a disgrace to all men.”  Jonathan had already admitted earlier in the show that the fantasy suite thing, and basically his whole appearance on the show was a joke, but that doesn’t stop Des from going after him.

-Zak W. actually hurt my view of him a little bit during this segment when he pulled out the guitar and broke into song.  I’ll hold back on really judging for now, but if I hear that Zak or one of his siblings is releasing a country album within the next year I won’t be impressed.  I will say that was a pretty good song though, there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd.

-Final thought on these special episodes, why do a lot of these guys bother coming back.  Almost half the panel of guys were speechless throughout the entire show.  I guess getting that 16th minute of fame was too hard for these guys to pass up.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for this week, it’s time to start resting up for the “shocking” two-part finale that begins with the next episode.  Despite Chris Harrison insisting that we’ll be shocked, and that this is the most emotional finale in history, I still don’t see anyone but Brooks ending up with Des at the end.  That being said, if it isn’t Brooks I will be legitimately shocked, so bring it on bachelorette, and save this season from being the least memorable one yet.  See you tomorrow for a recap of The Challenge: Rivals II and next Tuesday for another recap of The Bachelorette.

If you missed this week’s episode and want to watch online here’s the link.

Thoughts/Questions/Comments – You can reach me via email – SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter – @NoOneGoesToClev

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