Well that was Depressing (The Bachelorette Finale Part 1 Recap)

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So last night’s episode of The Bachelorette basically equaled out to one hour of meaningless dates, and one hour of Des and Brooks crying and mumbling.  Last night’s episode also might of set a record for number of times one person said “I love you,” and the other person didn’t say it back.  Overall I’d say last night’s episode was one of the most depressing in the show’s history, but for all those people who are ready to give up on love after seeing things seemingly fail yet again in this franchise, fear not, after last night’s episode aired Des released a glimmer of hope that things will work out on Twitter:

Many people feel this tweet is foreshadowing a surprise return by Brooks during next week’s final rose ceremony.  And let’s face it, Brooks returning is the only way this show isn’t ending with Des standing by herself.  Even if Des did decide she had to pick one of the other remaining guys, there is no way they would stay together after seeing footage of this episode, and realizing that Brooks was her first choice and they just won by default.

I’ve basically summed up the entire episode in these first couple of paragraphs, and I’d kind of like to just call it a day right now, but instead I’ll plow ahead and do the recap, even though I’m going to skip over most of Chris and Drew’s dates because frankly, who cares?

Pointless Date of the Night #1: Drew

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-It really is sad to listen to Drew talk about how he keeps falling more and more in love with Des. No one from the show could tip this poor guy off?

-My favorite part of this date is during the festival they attend in the town of Shirley.  A local merchant makes a heart out of palm fronds, and tells Drew he has to give it to Des and then kiss her.  He then says if the kiss is sloppy they have to do it again, and seems to be saying intense while Drew is carrying out his request.  (They should hire this guy as a director, he would really spice the show up).

-Des and Drew’s romantic dinner on the beach is ruined by a rain storm.  As a result of this Drew gets to take a Jonathan like jump, and skip dinner entirely and go directly to the fantasy suite.

-Wouldn’t it be more fun if someone said “no” when they were asked if they wanted to spend the night in the fantasy suite? Unfortunately Drew is “ecstatic” to spend time with Des in the fantasy suite, so I guess it’s not going to happen on this date.

Pointless Date #2: Chris

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-And while they were tipping off Drew, someone could have tipped off Chris too because it’s depressing hearing him talk about how much he loves Des, and can see himself with her forever.

-During the dinner portion of the date, Des says she wants to spend this time talking about Chris’s expectations for the future.  (So she can know exactly what the hopes and dreams are that she is destroying when she doesn’t pick him).

-Just when I was really starting to feel bad for Chris he had to go and pull out another poem and ruin it.  (Even he seemed disappointed that he had another poem to read, I think the producer’s forced him into it).

The Most Depressing Hour in Network Television:

Prior to coming to Antigua Brooks decided he needed another visit with his mother and sister to try to work through some negative feelings he’s having.  (The best part of this is that Brooks refers to the fantasy suite date as his “exotic” date with Des).  Brooks admits to his mother and sister, and later to Chris Harrison that his heart just isn’t fully into this, and he doesn’t think he can propose to Des.  To be fair, the feelings Brooks is having are the ones basically any rational person would be having at this point.  In a real life situation everyone would tell you that you were crazy if you got engaged after only knowing a person for 9 weeks (especially if the person had been dating a group of other people while dating you).  So, in a way it’s hard to blame Brooks, but at the same time he did sign up to be on The Bachelorette, it’s not like he didn’t know what he was getting into.  Brooks leaves Chris Harrison feeling confident that, despite his best efforts to feel otherwise, Des is simply not the woman for him.  Now it’s time to go break the bad new’s to Des.

Before he can break the news they have to walk out to sit on the dock of despair:

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Once they’re seated it’s time to watch another couples painful break up for the last 30 minutes of the show.  This segment was just brutal on everyone, especially on Brooks’ hair:

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Brooks admits to Des that he doesn’t feel their moments apart are hard enough for him, and that he seems to lose his feelings for her when they aren’t going on dates together.  A short time later Des tells Brooks she loves him, and that he’s the only one she can say that about.  He seems pretty taken by surprise, which in turn seems to take Des by surprise, She responds by saying: “I told you I was running.” (Duh Brooks, do you not remember how this system you guys made up works.  Maybe he blocked the whole thing out because Des was sprinting towards the altar while he was still taking a leisurely stroll).

I have to admit that even I felt a pang in my heart when an inconsolable Des told Brooks she’s never felt completely loved by anyone in her life.  (As silly as I think this show is, it’s still hard to have someone watch their heart get broken on television.  On the plus side this was the most entertaining episode since the season started).  A short time later it’s really starting to feel like it’s time for Brooks to just leave already, but he refuses to do so.  Instead Brooks and Des take an awkward walk together where Brooks stupidly says he didn’t know if Des was conflicted or not about her feelings, and she responds by saying she was only conflicted because she only wanted to be with him and didn’t want to date the other guys.

This week’s episode ends with Brooks finally leaving, while telling producer’s it’s never been this hard to say goodbye at the end of a relationship before, and repeatedly saying he didn’t think this would be so hard.  The show ends this week with Des by showing her saying that this is over for her, and then airing extended footage of her crying alone on the “dock of despair.”

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Despite the fact that the preview for next week doesn’t seem overly happy, I still feel that Brooks will be returning to propose next week.  Whether or not I think Des should accept his proposal at this point is another matter, but based on Desiree’s cryptic tweet from last night, and the fact that “Reality Steve” still insists Brooks is the “winner,” I think we’ll be seeing him again next week.  One thing I know for sure is that I’ll be back Thursday with a recap of The Challenge: Rivals II, and next Tuesday to finish off this season of The Bachelorette.

If you missed this week’s episode and want to watch online here’s the link.

Thoughts/Questions/Comments – You can reach me via email – SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter – @NoOneGoesToClev

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