This week’s episode didn’t quite have the fire power of last week, but we did get one quality fight involving Jemmye’s Ketchup phobia, and we got some other fun moments, so let’s get right into this.
It took her a minute, but Jonna figured out who to sleep with to help get her to the end again this season. With Sarah getting sent home, and Jordan performing well in the challenges, it looks like Jonna saw an opportunity to hook up with a strong guy and she went for it. My favorite part of Jonna and Jordan’s exchange in the club is when Jordan says, “I’m like The Great Gatsby,” and Jonna responds by saying, “what the f*ck does that mean?” (Jonna doesn’t know what The Great Gatsby is Jordan, don’t confuse the girl she just wants to make out).
The hook up between Jordan and Jonna was fun, but the real highlight from the night at the club was Diem supposedly writing a rap about Nany. Nany is shown dancing with CT, and after the roommates get back to the house Jemmye tells her that Diem wrote a rap about her. (Also based on this last two episode’s Jemmye is putting in a really strong showing for biggest tattletale in challenge history). Diem denies writing a rap, which did seem pretty out of character, and despite Jemmye’s protest’s that it happened there is no proof, and this argument basically fizzles out. Until the next day when Johnny and Leroy have taken it upon themselves to write the greatest rap song of all time about the situation. Here’s a sample of their lyrical masterpiece: “Me and my partner are like Clyde and Bonnie, but if there’s one person I can’t stand it’s that whore named Nany.” (Pure genius) Before moving on I want to give Nany some credit here, in the past she typically would have flipped out over something like this, but she kept her cool. This is possibly because it was the next day and she was sober, or possibly because this rap was so great she couldn’t possibly get upset about it.
This week’s challenge is a little on the dull side, like a lot of the challenge’s so far this season. The teams have to guide a 25 foot bamboo pole through a giant bamboo maze. On the girl’s side Emily and Paula win again, for the fourth time in a row and continue to look like an unbeatable team. On the flip side, Jasmine and Theresa aren’t able to complete the maze within the alloted time frame, and they are sent directly into the elimination round. On the guys side of things we have another first time winner this week, as Jordan and Marlon bust through the maze and take home a victory. Their victory makes some of the other guys teams realize these rookies might be a bigger threat than they thought at first. On the other side for the guys, Preston and Knight DQ for the third week in a row, and are proving to be the worst team remaining by far.
Following the challenge Cooke gets some bad news, things are shaping up for her and Cara Maria to be heading into the jungle yet again. After getting the news Cooke decides she’s going to try to swing the vote in another direct, unfortunately she chooses a stupid direction to try to swing it. Cooke proves that this is her first challenge by aiming for a team with a lot of friends in the game, Diem and Aneesa, rather than going for a less popular team like Nany and Jonna. Things really fall apart when Theresa, a great tattletale in her own right, comes and tells Diem about Cooke’s plan to throw them in. Now not only are Cooke and Cara Maria stuck going into the jungle every time, but as a bonus everyone in the house hates them. In the end the only team Cooke convinced was Leroy and Ty, who have been throwing out rogue votes all season, (they vote for Nany and Jonna, sticking with their theme this season) and it’s going to be Cooke and Cara Maria versus Jasmine and Theresa in the jungle.
Before we can get to the jungle though, we need to discuss the fight between Jemmye, Knight and the ketchup bottle. Jemmye and Leroy have been flirting a lot this season, and frankly who can blame her, Leroy is clearly a big upgrade over Knight. Knight is frustrated by this, and also claims to just be sick of having Jemmye around, and says the one way he knows he can get rid of her without hurting her is by putting ketchup on her. In a way I do feel bad, as Jemmye seems pretty genuinely traumatized by the ketchup, but at the same time if you knew someone with a paralyzing fear of a condiment wouldn’t you be a little tempted to mess with them. (and this is Knight we’re talking about so obviously he’s going to mess with the person). This segment also produced two of my favorite quotes of the night, courtesy of Jemmye:
1. “Ketchup is legitimately my biggest fear.”
2. “He know’s how I feel about ketchup! No, I don’t play, I f*cking hate ketchup, he’s a b*tch*ss fool!”
The rest of the house seems to be in a state of confused amusement about what exactly is happening in the kitchen. This confusion is voiced by Trey, ever the wise one, when he asks why Knight couldn’t have put mustard on her instead. The saddest part of this for Jemmye is that this whole fight makes Leroy decide to move on from her and the drama, and he moves on to Theresa instead. There is still hope for Jemmy though, in his interview Leroy say’s he isn’t sure who he’s more attracted to, and that in a perfect world he’d have Theresa and Jemmye, but he doesn’t think that’s going to happen, so for right now it’s first come, first serve.” (Leroy is the best).
Finally it’s time for what TJ calls the scariest elimination challenge in history. One member from each team gets hooked up to a metal gurney with car batteries attached to it. TJ will push a button releasing a powerful electric shock into the players, the first player to say they can’t take it loses, and the first team to win to rounds is the champ. TJ tells the girls that they’ve randomly selected Jasmine and Cara Maria to go first, and seems a little unsure about if this is safe or not before telling the girls to take their places. Cara Maria comforts her partner Cooke by telling her that she has a battery pack she hooks up to her nipples at home, and that it just feels like little needles. Theresa also attempts to coach Jasmine, but she chooses to do so by telling her it’s going to feel like burning all over her body, and closes out by saying, “just try to think of it as something soothing.” Just as the girls are getting ready to get electrocuted TJ steps in and announces that no one is going home tonight. So what was the point is this elimination exactly? Were they really planning to do this originally, and then someone stepped in at the last-minute, and said it wasn’t safe? Was TJ just trying to test the girls to see if someone would quit? Or, my personal theory, TJ just wanted to confirm the rumor that Cara Maria shocks her nipples with a battery pack. Whatever the reason, the girls who are no longer about to die on a tv show are ecstatic, many of the other girls in the house, (Emily, Paula, and Diem to name a few) not so much.
Ultimately this show ends up a happy note, not only does no one die, we also get the triumphant return of vintage “Diem in the PM,” as a wig-less Diem boogies down to close out the episode.
Next week it looks like we’ll be getting a fight between Zach and Frank (who has had surprisingly little camera time so far). They also show a clip of Wes telling Diem that Leroy is going to vote for her. Making waves like that seems very un-Leroy-ish so we’ll have to see how things turn out. Honestly it could be something as simple as Leroy and Ty spreading their votes around each week, and it simply being Diem and Aneesa’s turn next time, but we’ll have to wait and see. I’ll see you Tuesday for a recap of the final episode of this season of The Bachelorette, and next Thursday for another recap of The Challenge: Rivals II, see you then.
If you missed this week’s episode and want to watch online here’s the link.
Thoughts/Questions/Comments – You can reach me via email – SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter – @NoOneGoesToClev
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