Quite Possibly the Least Exciting Surprise Ending in History (The Bachelorette Finale Part 2 Recap)

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It’s the live television event of the summer!  At least according to Chris Harrison, and ignoring the fact that basically all summer television is terrible.  After all the drama of last week things were definitely a little more toned down this time around.  Despite the fact that this wasn’t the most thrilling finale, (because there was only one dude left for most of the show) I’m going to plow through and see this season to its bitter end, so let’s get started.

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To start the show this week we still have a Des that looks like this.  The seemingly crushed Desiree sits down to have a chat with Chris Harrison, and after first saying she just wants to go home, (in a clip they’ve been teasing all season) Des agrees to stay and test things out with Drew and Chris.

Moving forward, we get to watch the least dramatic rose ceremony in series history.  (Although that didn’t stop them from still putting in several dramatic pauses).  Des tells the guys that Brooks decided to leave, and sort of breezes over the “and he was my favorite part.”  Instead Des opts to tell the guys that despite Brooks departure she has viewed all the relationships individually, and would still like to move forward with them if they want to.

Following the rose ceremony, Des let’s use know that instead of taking the guys to meet her parents, which would normally be the next step, she will be going on regular dates with Drew and Chris to try to determine her feelings for the remaining guys.  Drew’s date is up first, and Des decides to try to impress him by wearing her Pocahontas Halloween costume and taking him horseback riding.

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Unfortunately for any Drew fans out there, things turn south pretty quickly on this date.  Des realizes almost immediately after leaving with Drew that she isn’t feeling the excitement that you should feel when you’re in love with someone, and decides to break the bad news to Drew during their romantic beach picnic.  Drew is surprisingly unemotional while a very emotional Des apologizes for him not being “the one.”  I also want to give Drew credit for how quickly this break up goes down.  He could really teach Brooks a thing or two about how long you should stick around after a break up has occurred.

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Finally we’ve made it to the last date for this season of The Bachelorette.  Chris has been solidly in second place for almost the entire season, and now that Brooks has taken himself out of the running Chris can celebrate being the winner by default this season.  (I mean Des doesn’t want to go home with nothing after all this time).  This date goes much more smoothly than the date with Drew.  As the day progresses Des feels more and more comfortable with the idea of giving her heart to Chris at the end of the show.  I’m not certain, but I think what probably won her over was the gift Chris gives her during the evening portion of the date – a journal with his poems to her written in the back.  Despite the fact that this is the second time someone has stolen one of Zak’s ideas, Des seemed pleased with the gift, and I think it may have even earned Chris a second night of fantasy suite time.  Also during the evening portion of the date, the topic of meeting Desiree’s family comes up.  Des admits that she had been hesitant to have any of the guys meet her family, but after her day with Chris she feels 100% confident in her desire for him to meet them.  (I feel like Chris still thought he might be getting sent home at any time during this date.  He is sweating bullets while he asks Des about meeting her parents).

Following the date with Chris it’s time for some more filler material from our friends at The Bachelorette.  As Chris Harrison said at the top of the show, “this is the live television event of the summer,” and with that being the case they have been cutting away all night to get feedback from a live studio audience, aka “bachelor nation.”  In addition to a studio audience, they show has also brought back Sean and Catherine, and some famewh*res (oops, I mean women from last season) to help give an expert opinion on what Des is going through.  Their expert opinion essentially boils down to: “it’s sad to see Des so upset, I don’t know what’s going to happen.”  Catherine points out the obvious during her interview, saying it would be really hard for Chris to propose after seeing how strong Desiree’s feelings for Brooks were.

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Next up it’s time for Chris to meet Desiree’s parents, and everyone’s favorite reality tv brother, Nate.  Meeting Desiree’s family definitely goes better for Chris than it did for Sean.  Nate throws out a lot of questions, but he really doesn’t crack down like he did the first time.  (Of course they also didn’t give him time alone with Chris).  I’d say this meeting actually couldn’t have gone much better for Chris, who gets the blessing not only of Desiree’s father, but from her brother as well.  Now that the meeting with the family is out of the way all that stands between Chris and happily ever after is a meeting with Neil Lane, and a proposal.

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Des still seems like kind of an emotional train wreck heading into the final rose ceremony which seems like it could spell problems for them moving forward, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see.  I still don’t understand how Chris could watch this season and stay with Des, hopefully they don’t own a tv.  Ultimately, despite some misgivings from me, and a brief interruption by Des, the proposal goes basically without a hitch, and we are denied the first winner-less season of The Bachelorette.

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The show closes out with Des and Chris walking off hand in hand to start their new life together, and mercifully bringing an end to one of the more boring seasons in this shows history.  I’ll admit I was still rooting for Brooks to pop back up right to the very end, it would have really saved this season for me.  I guess this just goes to show that you shouldn’t put too much faith in Reality Steve.  I really have my doubts about Chris and Des making it long enough to walk down the aisle together, but they both seem like nice, boring people, so maybe things will work out for them.  I’m really ready to be done with this show, but I’ll give a few observations from the “After the Final Rose” Special.

Segment #1: Brooks

 

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-Well here’s Brooks, finally, his return was just a little bit later than what I’d been hoping for.

-They poke fun at Brooks break up technique, and he responds by saying that he felt he should stay until Des Dismissed him because he’d had time to realize the relationship was coming to a close, and she hadn’t had that time yet.

-I was glad to see the audience response to Brooks was pretty positive.  I think Brooks is a good guy, who was actually a lot more honest than most of the people who come on these shows.  In a lot of past seasons I think people have probably felt similar to Brooks, but didn’t have the courage to admit it, or didn’t realize it in time, and that is part of why the couples from these shows almost never stay together.

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-Drew definitely seems a little more jaded than the other guys who got kicked off this season, as he describes his send off from Des as “unceremonious.”

-Drew peppers Des with some pretty tough questions about what he could have done differently, and when she knew he wasn’t “the one.”  Des doesn’t have a ton of great answers for Drew, but she does admit she may have been holding back with him some at the end, despite saying he wasn’t trailing behind Chris and Brooks the whole time.

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-Finally it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for – more poetry from Chris!  I was really worried that we might not get anymore after going the whole finale without any, but thank god we were saved during the “After the Final Rose” special.  Not only do we get a new poem, but it’s framed, and has a dozen dried rose petals from all the rose ceremonies this season.  Des was right, Chris really is the great guy ever.  (or a really big dork, either way).

-Their segment together was pretty boring, the only real bit of news was got out of it was that Des will be moving to Seattle this weekend.

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-The show ends with the announcement everyone has been waiting for, and as expected the new bachelor is Juan Pablo.  Personally I think they made the right choice, and based on the cheers when he came out, I think the studio audience agrees with me.  I was planning on taking a break from this show, but I’ll do like Juan Pablo, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see how I’m feeling when it’s time for the new season to start.

Alright folks, that’s all I’ve got for this week, and this season of The Bachelorette.  I’ll see you Thursday for a recap of The Challenge: Rivals II.

If you missed this week’s episode and want to watch online here’s the link, and here’s the link to the “After the Final Rose” special.

Thoughts/Questions/Comments – you can reach me via email – SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter – @NoOneGoesToClev

One thought on “Quite Possibly the Least Exciting Surprise Ending in History (The Bachelorette Finale Part 2 Recap)

  1. This obtuse show first caused a beautiful young couple to fall in love – before our eyes, then caused the breakup of this beautiful couple. I will never watch this again – ever.

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