For anyone who hasn’t been satisfied with just two hours of The Bachelor every week, this time around we get four. Last night Juan Pablo went and saw the ladies hometowns, and to the surprise of absolutely no one sent Renee packing at the end of the show. (He wouldn’t even kiss her on camera because he claimed to be worried about what her son would think, so the fantasy suite probably would have been a little dull for these two). Once again I am in a bit of a time crunch this week due to real life responsibilities, so I’m just going to share a few observations from each of the hometown dates, and then rest up so tomorrow I can be ready to recap what goes “horribly wrong” in the fantasy suite during tonight’s episode.
Hometown Date #1: Nikki in Kansas City
-Despite being better at eating barbecue and riding a mechanical bull than she expected, Nikki still isn’t ready to drop the L-word on Juany Pabs. (I kind of thought she already told him she loved him a week or two ago, but maybe she just said “I’m falling in love with you” and I got confused).
-We learned during dinner that the bachelor/bachelorette rides first class when they are flying overseas while their suitors are stuck back in coach. (I guess they really want to make sure connections between cast members are only made during official dates).
-We learned tonight that Juan Pablo likes to talk with his hands when he is nervous. His hands were flying all over the place during his sit downs with the fathers, probably to try to hide the fact that he doesn’t speak a ton of English.
Hometown #2: Andi in Atlanta
-In an unexpected turn of events we learned that Andi likes to shoot guns (we also learned that Juan Pablo is a terrible shot).
-Andi’s dad Hy stars in the episode as the super skeptical, disapproving family member. During dinner Hy responds with “oh absolutely” when asked by Juan Pablo if he is still worried about the connection between him and Andi.
-During his talk with Andi’s mom Juan Pablo says that he likes Andi’s “quick mind,” and claims that they can go back and forth for “hours.” (All the footage of these back and forth verbal exchanges must have been edited out because I haven’t seen Juan Pablo exchange more than about three sentences without stopping to make out all season).
– I really enjoyed Juan Pablo’s response after Hy said he wouldn’t give his blessing for Andi and Juan Pablo to get married while there was still three other women in the picture. Juan Pabs responds by saying “ok, that’s great” with this uncomfortable smile on his face.
(Juany Pabs is learning that moms are much easier to charm than dads)
-Through the first two hometown dates we still haven’t had anyone say those three magic words to Juan Pablo. I feel like it’s a little late in the game to still not have anyone willing to put it out there.
Hometown Date #3: Renee in Sarasota
-Renee says she is “literally” going to eat her son when she sees him. I think this may be one of those times that people use literally when they really just shouldn’t.
-I can’t think of many things that would make me more uncomfortable as an eight year old boy than meeting my moms sort of boyfriend on national television.
-Renee says things are going so great at her sons little league game that she never wants it to end, this is the first time any parent has ever wished for the childs little league game to be endless.
-Renee is the third woman tonight to swing and a miss on wanting to tell Juan Pablo that they love him. I’ve got to say I’m a little glad about this one though, its sad enough watching this date knowing Renee goes home at the end of the episode, it would have been even worse if she was the one who managed to get that “I love you” out.
-Does anyone else think it’s strange that the woman never respond by asking what he’s thinking when Juan Pablo constantly asks “what are you thinking?” Can they tell he’s not thinking anything, but knew he had to say something because they’ve been awkwardly staring at each other for too long?
Hometown #4: Clare in Sacramento
(I stumbled upon this shot of Clare and Juan Pablo at the park and it was too good not to use).
-Clare is excited to have Juan Pablo in her hometown of Sacramento because according to her they’ve been to a lot of fancy places where “anyone could fall in love”, they need to see if they’re still in love now that they’re in a shitty place like Sacramento.
-Clare’s sister Lisa says that their dad was the ultimate southern gentleman, and that she sees those same qualities in Juan Pablo, she might change her mind after the family see’s the aftermath of the Vietnam possible ocean coitus.
-We get another piece of crazy Clare’s back story when we learn during this visit that her parents only knew each other for three weeks before getting engaged.
-We also learn that Clare isn’t the craziest person in her family, that title goes to her sister Laura. I’m not sure why exactly Laura refused to let her mother just give Clare her blessing, but I’m glad she did. I’m also glad that she decided after a while that the best move for her was to stand in the shadows and shoot Clare down, rather than remaining in the middle of the conversation.
-I’m disappointed we didn’t get to see the tape from Clare’s dad. I guess Juan Pablo hasn’t proven himself worthy of that yet.
-No “I love you” from Clare either, even though she did say she would marry Juan Pablo “in a heartbeat” if he asked. I still feel like all this uncertainty about feelings could be an issue when we get to the fantasy suite, maybe that’s why things go “horribly wrong.”
With the hometown dates over all that’s left for this episode is for the ladies to head back to Miami so Clare and Nikki can share some more awkward silence and Renee can pack her bags. I feel bad for Renee, she seems like a genuinely nice person, hell she even comforted Juan Pablo after he sent her packing, so I hope things work out for her in the future. I’ve got to say I’m legitimately excited about tonight’s episode of The Bachelor for the first time in a long time. Most signs point to Andi being the one with fantasy suite issues, but the preview shows everyone crying and Juan Pablo acting like kind of a jerk, so I’m excited to see what happens. Enjoy tonight’s episode, and I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon with another recap of The Bachelor.
Thoughts/Questions/Comments – You can reach me via email – SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter – @NoOneGoesToClev