It’s over. After the classic three-hour “drama” filled marathon, another season of The Bachelor is behind us. Despite Chris Harrison’s attempts to make us believe otherwise, this was one of the least dramatic finale’s in the shows history. The biggest reason for the lack of drama was Becca, who is an emotionless pod person from another planet, hoping to conquer us by mating with our farmers and taking over our food production. It’s either that or Becca is basically the only sane, logical woman to ever come on this show. Not only was Becca not in love with Chris before she got out of the limo the first night, (unlike most of the other women on the show) she still wasn’t sure she was in love with him heading into a maybe proposal in a freezing cold barn in Iowa. Becca’s inability to confirm that she was in love with Chris made the decision fairly simple. You don’t want to be The Bachelor who picks the woman who “just wasn’t into you” per Jimmy Kimmel. Not only does Becca not shed a tear while Chris is breaking up with her, she also stays emotionless during the limo ride away, and during the After The Final Rose special. I’ve probably never liked Becca more than I did last night, even if she is a pod person, she seems like a very logical one, and the planet could probably use some new rulers anyways.
Whitney, on the other hand, was a ball of jittery emotion all night (maybe that means she’s the actual pod person and she’s trying to throw us off). Whitney has no problem talking for hours about how much she loves Chris, and how ready she is to start a family. I’m skeptical of how things will work out, especially when/if Whitney makes the actual move to Arlington, but they seemed happy last night and his family like her so I’m pulling for them. Plus she reminds Chris of his sister’s, which is apparently a good thing in Iowa.
Final note on last night before getting into The Bachelorette debacle, why was there snow on the ground when Chris met with Becca and none when he proposed to Whitney? I was always under the belief that the limo’s carrying the women come fairly close together, at the very least during the same day. Suddenly after watching last nights episode I’m beginning to question everything I know to be true.
Now for the only surprising bit of information to come out of last night’s show: Britt and Kaitlyn are both The Bachelorette (kinda). After telling the live studio audience it had been narrowed down to Britt and Kaitlyn, and getting them to applaud for their favorite, (and Kaitlyn having a clear majority while Britt had some boos mixed in) Chris Harrison announced that both women would be The Bachelorette. Chris goes on to explain that since they couldn’t decide they will let the men invited on the first night choose who they want the next Bachelorette to be, and with this news feminism took a giant step backwards. Not that I’ve been living under the illusion that this series is a pillar for women’s rights, but still, this doesn’t seem like a move in the right direction. Also if you’re going to have two Bachelorette’s, why not just keep them both for the whole season? It would certainly create plenty of drama to have Kaitlyn and Britt battling to win over the same guys. Plus you double your odds of someone possibly getting married on this season, maybe there’d even be two successful couples at the end, a Bachelor first! Maybe I’m just bitter because I had heard it was Kaitlyn and the thought of watching Britt give out free hugs for another season makes me want to cancel my cable subscription. As Kaitlyn put it last night: “this isn’t ideal.” I’ll probably still watch thought, because honestly, what else am I going to do on Monday nights, certainly not something to better myself or others, so The Bachelorette it is!
That’s all I’ve got for this week, check out my recaps of The Real World and The Challenge on Saturday, and I’ll see you in May for The Bachelorette.
Thoughts/Questions/Comments: Feel free to contact me via email: SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter: @NoOneGoesToClev