Last night was the first time this season I’ve been able to watch The Bachelor during it’s original airing, and I was reminded that the show might be the longest two hours in television without the advantages of dvr to skip through commercials/long stretches where nothing really happens (aka Ben and Lauren B’s date). That being said, I did basically make it through the whole episode, (minus the parts I missed while I was watching basketball) and thought I’d share my thoughts on a pretty average third episode.
The first one on one date of the evening went to norm-core flight attendant Lauren B, one of the two remaining Lauren’s out of the original four on this season. Ben (aka production) decides the best date for a flight attendant is a private plane ride (I’m sure she misses work). The date basically consists of Ben and Lauren making out while flying over the Bachelor mansion in a biplane, and then landing to spend some time in the Kevin Hart hot tub now conveniently located in the middle of a field. The pair then moves on to dinner where we learn that Lauren loves her dad, and her dad loves lawn care. I’m not nearly as into Lauren as Ben is. According to her ABC bio Lauren loves warm weather, Titanic, and her guiltiest pleasure is brunch with mimosa’s, in other words Lauren is a basic bitch.
To be honest I didn’t watch the group date. As far as I can tell the only interesting thing that happened is that following a world class caliber soccer match, the “ladies” all got together to talk about Olivia and her “fat toes.” Based on her blog posts Olivia is a former fat kid, so I’m sure the toes comments hurt, even if she tried to brush it off by saying perfection was overrated. Since I don’t really have anything to say about the date itself, this feels like a good time to share some thoughts on Olivia. To be honest, like Ben I was impressed with Olivia in the first episode, she seemed smart and interesting, and it was impressive that she already had a job as a local news anchor at 23 when most people on this show have careers like “chicken enthusiast.” Olivia’s ABC bio was also packed with answers that made her seem sane and normal. Maybe I was won over by the fact that she liked alternative music and cold weather, but she just seemed a little more interesting than the other girls (it is a little troubling that she says she held the record for most time trapped in an elevator her freshman year of college, who gets trapped in an elevator more than once, especially in the same year?). However, as the show has progressed and her behavior has become more and more bizarre, it seems, tragically, that Olivia might not be here for “the right reasons,” apparently Chris Harrison has even eluded to this fact on his blog. There are a number of rumors swirling around the Olivia just came on the show to try and become famous, apparently she was so committed to this plan she even broke up with her boyfriend and quit her job back home before coming on the show (more about the boyfriend here). At this point haven’t people figured out no one gets famous from being on this show, unless by famous you mean finishing fifth on “Worst Cooks in America: Celebrity Edition,” I’m looking at you Chris Soules. The only former contestant to even come close to “fame” is Ali Fedotowsky who stepped away from her long time position at E! News this past summer. After reading her blog it’s hard to tell if Olivia is really just after fame, or if she’s just much more bizarre than she seems at first glance. Whatever Olivia’s motives, it seems that Ben is not feeling the same connection, and her time on the show may be limited.
The final date of the night went to Jubilee, the African-American former war veteran from Ft. Lauderdale. Following her date with Ben, and the ridiculously attacks by her fellow cast members, I’m announcing that I’m officially Team Jubilee. Who can really hate on someone who spits out caviar, admits their favorite food is hot dogs, and has the guts to sarcastically say they don’t want to go on the date instead of gushing all over Ben at every moment. Unlike Olivia who is struggling with her cankles, Jubilee seems to have had some real adversity in her past, and also unlike most people who come on these shows, she doesn’t seem desperate to tell Ben about it as a way to advance her cause. The other women on this show don’t seem to appreciate any of these things about Jubilee. The ladies are shocked that Jubilee even for a second sarcastically suggested not wanting to go on the date, and when she gives Ben a massage to make him feel better following the news that two close family friends have passed away, the women are beyond outraged. Amber and Jami, probably both coming to the realization that there is no chance of multiple minority cast members making it far on this show, decide it is time to confront Jubilee under the guise of being fair to other cast mates getting time with Ben. However, Jubilee is not having it, and acts like the true introvert she claims to be by running and hiding from the other women. Despite her best attempts to get away, Jubilee is tracked down by not only Amber, who is relentless in her pursuit of “justice,” but also by Ben. Amber insists on confronting Jubilee in front of Ben in an attempt to make her look bad, but ultimately Amber comes off looking like a bully (you’d really think Amber would be better at this now that she’s on round number three of this franchise).
Finally it appears it’s time for the rose ceremony, but not so fast, Lace needs to talk to Ben outside. Ben follows Lace and listens to her teary explanation for needing to leave the show, telling Ben that you can’t really love someone else until you love yourself. I’m not sad to see her go, her mildly crazy shtick was getting boring. With Lace eliminating herself there are only two ladies left to be cast out at the rose ceremony. Following the classic Bachelor tease of giving the villain (aka Olivia) the final rose, the ladies going home this week are Jami and Shushanna. Amber may have been saved by the fact that she already had a rose from the group date, but I feel like her time is coming soon.
Next week Ben and the ladies are headed to Las Vegas, where people do find love according to Ben. Let’s be real, people “find love” everywhere, no one legitimately thinks Las Vegas is a romantic city. You would think with the strong ratings so far production could have sprung for somewhere a little fancier. Next up on The Bachelor tour of romance, Detroit! It also appears that Olivia will be giving her best Kelsey Poe impression next week, however based on the preview there is no sign of Ben coming to her aid during her “panic attack.” Next week also appears to be the week that the ladies decide they need to talk to Ben about Olivia, and as is always the case in the scenarios, it seems many tears will be shed. Looks like we’ve got an Olivia packed week ahead of us folks. Hopefully I’ll be back later in the week to talk about the new episode of The Challenge, see you then.
Thoughts/Questions/Comments: I can be reached via Twitter @NoOneGoesToClev