Bye Bye Banana’s The Challenge: Battle of the Bloodlines “Out for Blood” Recap

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So remember a couple of days ago when I wrote that this game was rigged after Banana’s managed to talk Jenna into voting in Cara Maria and her cousin Jamie to face off against Abram and his brother, guaranteeing that one of the biggest threats to his winning would be eliminated.  Then at the end of that post I wrote that it seemed like a lock for Banana’s to get another title with how weak the remaining teams were.  Well it looks like I might have spoken a little too soon, because this week we saw Johnny and his creepy cousin Vince get sent packing.

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This Season is Rigged, The Challenge: Battle of the Bloodlines Recap

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Well, looks like I’m running a little behind schedule on my recaps, but better late than never right?  Since it’s almost time for this weeks episode I’m not going to go too far into things from last week, but there are a couple of things I need to get off my chest before we go any further on this season.

The most important thing we learned last week?  This season of The Challenge is fixed!  For seemingly the ten-thousandth time in challenge history Johnny Banana’s was able to somehow save himself when it seemed like the game was finally turning on him.  After being put into the elimination round for the third time, with Vince being a leader in the voting each time, Jenna decided she was finally done being a pawn for Banana’s and his creepy cousin.  Jenna even makes a deal with Cara Maria and her cousin Jamie that they will watch each other’s backs.  Even though Cara Maria was clearly lying when she said Jenna and Brianna would be their number one alliance, (clearly Abe and his brother were her top partnership) I still hoped that this would be enough to convince Jenna to actually turn her back on Banana’s.  Unfortunately, as we’ve seen frequently during her time on this show, Jenna can easily be swayed by almost any assertive male cast member.  Johnny convinces Jenna that they need to get rid of Cara Maria because Jenna wouldn’t be able to beat her in a final.  You know who else Jenna can’t beat in a final? Johnny Bananas!  Honestly at this point the only team Jenna and Brianna could probably beat in the final is Aneesa and her cousin, and even that is up for debate.  Despite how shady he has been this season Banana’s is still a better ally than Cara (just ask Tom about how good she is at saving teams in her “alliance”).

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Bitter Banana’s The Challenge Bloodlines “Blood is Thicker than Mud” Recap

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Is this the least likable version of Johnny Banana’s since The Island, is Aneesa the lamest lesbian ever?  Have Thomas and Cara Maria been murder by Ab yet? I’m making my triumphant (and possibly very brief) return to discuss all these topics and maybe more as I break down the latest episode of The Challenge: Bloodlines.

On last night’s episode of The Challenge we saw Johnny Banana’s screw over yet another member of his seriously dwindling alliance.  Banana’s comes up with the always controversial plan for the red team to throw this week’s mission in an attempt to place nemesis Cara Maria in an elimination round and hopefully send her home.  (Although honestly what girl on the red team could possibly beat Cara Maria in an elimination, getting rid of Jamie, Cara’s cousin seems like the much easier plan).  After the blue team puts in a fairly poor performance in a challenge that is essentially just crossing a cargo net over a big pit of water, Johnny puts his plan into place.  Johnny decides he and Anthony, his new bff will both fall, and in a particularly dirty move, essentially rips Rianna off the cargo net so she falls as well.  Banana’s lets himself fall immediately, but Anthony really goes for the academy award, putting up a long struggling battle before letting himself drop just before the finish line.  Despite their best attempts to take longer on the challenge,(both teams lost three players) the red team still claims victory over the lowly blue team.

Following their loss the blue team must decide which female player they will select for the elimination round.  The vote comes down to Kelly Anne and Jenna, and with the deciding vote Mitch inexplicably decides to send Jenna in instead of Kelly Anne.  (Someone really needs to help Corey and Mitch out, it’s never a good idea to help Banana’s alliance when you have no alliance yourselves).  However it doesn’t really end up mattering that her own team didn’t send her in, because moments later the red team votes to send Kelly Anne in as the second participant in the elimination round.  The “shocker” (if we can call it that at this point) is that Banana’s goes along with his team and votes in Kelly Anne, despite his supposed alliance with her cousin Anthony.  This is the second time this season Banana’s has not only done nothing to defend a “friend,” but has only personally thrown them in to the elimination round.  Obviously the betrayal of Nany, someone who has seemingly been close to Banana’s for years, was much more egregious than what he did to Anthony this week, but both were underhanded moves.  While Banana’s offered Nany some weak excuse about his girlfriend from home, and not wanting to look like he was favoring Nany too much, I feel like maybe this is just a return to the Banana’s of old.  The past few seasons we had seen a kinder, gentler Johnny Banana’s.  That fact ultimately came back to bite him last season when he was out played by Sarah and ended up going home just before the final.  I was left wondering if Sarah’s betrayal (which I personally greatly enjoyed) has turned Banana’s back into his old self, AKA the Banana’s from The Island that screwed over Paula, and essentially refused to feed any of the girls in response to limited food rations.  Whatever is happening with Banana’s this season, it doesn’t seem good for his game in the long run.   With the elimination of Kelly Anne and Anthony last night essentially the last piece of Banana’s alliance is off the show.

Speaking of alliances, let’s step away from Banana’s for second and talk about Aneesa, who could be in every alliance or no alliances at this point as far as I can tell.  I want to start out by saying I’ve always liked Aneesa, (actually I didn’t like her much on her original season of The Real World, but since then I’ve liked her) that being said I have no idea what is going on with her this season.  Aneesa, who until this season I was pretty sure was a pretty full time lesbian, ended up falling for Corey, who I’m pretty sure is a full time douche.  Corey just does not seem to be a nice guy.  Aneesa is the third woman we’ve seen him with on television, ans he’s basically treated them all like crap.  I get that he’s good looking, but come on Aneesa, he’s basically put you on blast every chance he’s gotten for the past couple of episodes and you still seem to have his back.  Corey pulled a Banana’s and went out of his way to vote for Aneesa this week when he easily could’ve just gone along with the rest of his team and voted for Kelly Anne.  I’m begging you Aneesa, get over this lame crush and put Corey in his place, and get back to being the lovable lesbian you’ve always been.

Following the departure of Kelly Anne and Anthony it’s unclear where things will go from here this season.  Cara Maria seems to be in a good place to finally get her first victory with a solid alliance of her cousin Jamie and Abram and his brother Mike.  It seems like things didn’t really turn south for Cara and Ab until they got back home, and possibly until they went on The After Show last week.  It will also be interesting to see what decision’s Jenna and her cousin make, as they are yet another team that feels betrayed by Banana’s.  (Side note, I really love Jenna, I don’t even know why really, but she’s usually good for at least one good one-liner each episode and she’s kind of a lovable underdog.  Unfortunately I think she could have some trouble when Zach shows up this season).  While I don’t know the outcome of this season, based on things I’ve picked up during The After Show, it seems like Banana’s might have burned too many bridges to pull off a victory this year.  Could we be seeing the end of Banana’s reign on The Challenge?  Could this be the year Cara Maria finally claims victory?  Could Abram maim the entire cast and cause the final to be cancelled?  I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.  I hope to be back next week to talk more about The Challenge, and possibly get into some Bachelor talk, but not making any promises, see you next time.

Thoughts/Questions/Comments: I can be reached on Twitter @NoOneGoesToClev

 

I hope Paula is Laughing Somewhere (The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II Episode 10 Recap)

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This week’s episode featured the exit of one of the top teams in the game, one of the scariest challenges in series history, and the biggest power move by a female player in challenge history.  As opposed to The Real World, which is still in limbo, The Challenge has been renewed for another season.  I take this as great news, The Challenge entertains me week after week unlike any other show, that being said, let’s get into this week’s episode.

The week’s episode opened with the remnants of Hurricane Nia blowing through the nomination ceremony.  Leroy finally calmed Nia down enough so that Sarah and Jordan could confirm they were still being sent in, and then it was time to head to the dome.

The week’s dome brought back a classic elimination challenge, “hall brawl,” the object of this game is to run down a narrow hallway, fight your way past your opponent and tag your partner at the opposite end, the partners then run back down the hallway, and the first time to ring their bell wins the round.  The winner is the team to take the best two out of three matches.  The no longer “roided-up” Wes is at a significant disadvantage against the much bigger Leroy, and clearly Wes knows this, as he dives at Leroy’s shins to avoid contact, rather than taking a big hit in the hallway.  Wes’s strategy does not pay off, and after (maybe) faking an injured neck, he and Theresa are quickly eliminated 2-0.  Following their elimination, Theresa whines and cries about how it isn’t fair she’s going home.  This is basically all Theresa has done since Banana’s and Nany got back into the house, further proving why she is one of the least enjoyable people to watch on these shows.

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Total Eclipse of the Heart aka The Return of Banany (The Challenge: Battle of The Exes II Recap)

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I loved this week of The Challenge, while I haven’t always been his biggest fan, things just don’t feel right without Johnny Banana’s in the house and we finally got him back this week.  But before we can get to the return of Banany, we’ve got some other things to cover, so let’s get started.

Wes is feeling great at the beginning of this week’s episode.  After eliminating his nemesis Johnny Banana’s earlier in the season, and pulling some Jedi mind tricks on Leroy to get him to throw in Zach last week, Wes feels like he is controlling the game, he just needs to make one more move.  Wes goes to Leroy and Jordan and asks them to agree to throw in Jay and Jenna for the final elimination.  Leroy will take virtually any deal offered to him, and is immediately on board.  Jordan and Sarah on the other hand are not so trusting of Wes and decide this isn’t something they can agree to.  Jordan also decides to mention Theresa being a bitch, which while true, doesn’t help him and Sarah much in the house.  Jordan also brings up that Wes is not the same “roided up” guy that he was in the past.  (Between this comment, winning the challenge, and admitting that he doesn’t need to get any “douchier”, it was a great performance by Jordan all around this week).  Just when it is looking like Sarah and Jordan might be heading into all remaining elimination rounds the group gets a message from TJ, and it’s time to make a surprise trip to the dome.

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You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling (The Challenge: Battle of the Exes 2 Episode Recap)

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As with The Real World, I am way late with my entrance to the blogging game for this season of The Challenge, but don’t worry!  I have been watching closely all season, and am excited to start sharing my thoughts with you as we approach the end of another quality run of The Challenge.

-Biggest take away from this episode: is it possible for Zach to be a bigger asshole.  I didn’t watch the second San Diego season, so my introduction to Zach was on Battle of the Seasons, and he didn’t make a great first impression.  The way he and Frank treated Sam, particularly during the final mission was disgusting, and quickly turned them into some of my least favorite challengers.  However over his last few appearances on The Challenge, Zach had really been growing on me.  He still acted like a douche occasionally, but generally speaking he seemed like a nicer, calmer guy, and he was even good for a funny soundbite from time to time.  This season has made me realize I was right the first time.  I wouldn’t ever say Jonna is my favorite person on these shows, but she’s far from my least favorite, and Zach has treated her like trash from the moment they stepped into the house.  This week, not only did Zach berate Jonna when she did nothing wrong, (her jumping off the truck at the end did not result in a DQ) he also cost the team a victory when he jumped too soon.  That night Zach makes a very half-hearted effort to apologize, but the apology quickly turns into another attack on Jonna who FINALLY says she’s done with him (I doubt that’s really true, but still nice to hear).

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The Ex-odus (The Real World Ex-Plosion Finale and Sh*t they Should have Shown Recap)

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We made it, the finale of The Real World Ex-Plosion is upon us (actually I guess it’s past us since it was last night).  Last week’s episode ended with Brian and Cory getting into it in the van on the way home from the club, and we were left to ponder the outcome of the fight for an entire week.  Well, as it turns out, the fight wasn’t that exciting, it didn’t come close to the levels of violence and insanity Nia went to last season.  Aside from this initial brief fight, and another crazier outburst from Brian later in the episode, this finale was basically a love fest, especially amongst the “OG’s.”  Despite the fact that this finale didn’t pack the punch the show was teasing us with, this has still been one of the best seasons in years, and the “Sh*t they Should have Shown” show is always a good time, so let’s talk about them.

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The fight between Cory and Brian got broken up when production finally showed that the “no fighting” policy is still somewhat in place.  Tom and Jay are attempting to pull Brian and Cory apart when a member of production shows up at the door to the van and insists Brian get out and get in their van.  Production then kept Brian in a separate location until Cory was asleep to keep the drama to a minimum.  (probably a good idea because Brian kicked Cory in the nose and he was really unhappy about it).  Not being able to fight with Cory anymore doesn’t stop Brian from fighting, he just moves on to his favorite target, Jenny.  Brian gets back to the house and continues to lament to Jenny that he wasted five years of his life on her, and claims that she has “ruined his brain,” which could explain a lot of things.  One could argue that coming to, and then refusing to leave the show is Brian choosing to waste more time on Jenny, but I doubt he see’s it that way.  Jenny decides on a very effective way to get rid of Brian, she dumps water all over his bed.  Brian leaves to sleep in another room, but still insists that he is staying until the end no matter what.

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It’s Go Go Time! (The Real World Ex-Plosion Episode 11 Recap)

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Ok, so confession time, ever since they aired the preview of the new season of The Challenge, I’ve been kind of out on this season of The Real World.  I think a lot of other fans of the two series are feeling this way as well, and MTV attempted to draw the viewers back in by teasing a fight between Cory and Brian on last nights episode.  The only problem is that in classic Real World fashion, the fight didn’t take place until the final minutes of the show, and ended up being a “to be continued” situation.  As a result last nights episode was pretty dull, there was lots of feelings from Brian, Jenny started a new go-go dancing career, and Tom acted like an ass at a winery.  So, since I’m still pretty burned out from The Challenge preview I posted yesterday, (which you should go check out) and since last nights episode was nothing to write home, (or in a blog about) I’m just going to share some thoughts I had while watching last night, instead of going with the full on recap.

-Do you think the “OG” guys purposely leave Brian out, or does it just work out that way because he’s such a weirdo?

-Do we really need to know how everything makes Brian feel?  For awhile it was kind of funny to see this tough guy talk about his feelings all the time, but it’s starting to get a little old and boring.

-There’s no way Jenna hit Jay in the balls with the football by accident, and I applaud her passive aggression.

-Do you think Arielle is really into fetish culture or do you think she’s just trying to freak out the other roommates?  Because between that erotic dinner and the Folsom St. fair I’m starting to wonder.

-Jenny’s ability to pull food out of nowhere is amazing.  First that hot dog that was in her purse, and now she comes up with a random subway sandwich on the way to start her go-go dancing job.

-Brian telling Tom to “feather away” and then Jay saying “he’s not going to feather anywhere” is one of the greatest exchanges in bro fight history.

-What’s going on with Brian’s lip in this episode? Did someone already punch him in the face and we missed it, or is he having like a herpes flare up.

-Only people from The Real World would take a party bus with a stripper pole on their trip to Napa Valley.

-The group probably should have called it a day after the spa.  Tom especially really didn’t need to go to a winery and drink more, but I’m glad he did because the results were great.

-I was starting to judge Tom for his drunken behavior at the winery, but then I remembered that would probably be me if I went on a wine tour with a group of friends and my judging turned to shame.

-I really liked how obvious this Bianca girl at the club was about just wanting to be on camera.  I wonder if there’s been people like this in past seasons, and they just edited out the part where the person keeps asking where the camera’s are to try to make the show seem more “real.”

-Brian has been looking to fight Cory since the minute he got into the house, and he finally gets his wish.  It looks like the fight in the van gets broken up pretty quickly, but they get into it again after they get back to the house.

That’s all I’ve got for this week, sorry but like I said the interesting stuff in this episode didn’t happen until the last 2 minutes, so there wasn’t a lot to talk about.  Next week we get to see the rest of the fight between Cory and Brian, and then it will be time to say goodbye to The Real World Ex-Plosion.  See you next Thursday for another recap, and check out my preview of The Challenge: Free Agents to hold you over until then.

Thoughts/Questions/Comments – You can reach me via email – SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter – @NoOneGoesToClev

If you missed this week’s episode and want to watch online here is the link.

Another One Bites the Dust (The Real World Ex-Plosion Episode 10 Recap)

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Man, this years Real World house should have a revolving door out front, because cast members keep entering and leaving this show.  After her fight with Tom last week Hailey has to choose between leaving or staying in the house and making Tom’s life a living hell.  While it would have been a lot more exciting for viewers if Hailey stuck around to harass Tom and Jamie, she decides it’s best for her to pack her bags and head back home.  This marks the third cast member departure of the season.  We also got a brief visit from Ashley Mitchell this week.  Personally I was hoping we’d get another hamburger to the face level incident, but Ashley’s return was fairly mellow, and the only real negative result was that Brian’s feelings were hurt by her taking Jenny out to party.  (For a guy who cheated on someone like a week ago, and then got broken up with, Brian really feels a big need to share his feelings and emotions with Jenny at all times).  Overall this week’s episode was a little dull, it seems like it was a filler episode between the fight with Tom and Hailey last week and the fight with Brian and Cory next week, but let’s break down what happened in the episode anyways.

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Thanks to Brian my Dreams of being an Astronaut are now Alive Once Again (The Real World Ex-Plosion Episode 9 Recap)

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The best thing we got out of last night’s episode of The Real World Ex-Plosion was a preview for the new season of The Challenge (link to video).  Aside from that good news, last nights episode was a little bit of a downer.  I’m not sure why Jenna and Jay’s relationship drama bums me out so much, but it’s just not fun to watch, and at this point I’m pretty much over the Tom/Jamie/Hailey triangle, so even that fight didn’t excite me that much.  Luckily we got to see some of the hilarious bromance between Cory and Brian, and the preview promised the return of everyone’s favorite hot mess, Ashley Mitchell, so last nights episode wasn’t all bad, let’s take a look at what happened.

While with the possible exception of Arielle and Ashley C. I don’t think any of the exes from this show should really be trying to get back together, there are times when Brian and Jenny seem kind of perfect for each other.  During the segment featuring his “bromance” with Cory, Brian came out with some real gems that prove he’s as much of a crazy weirdo as Jenny.  First Brian tells Cory that he wants to go into space, saying being an astronaut is “easier than it was before” due to all the technology.  Brian then tells Cory that he would be a good dermatologist.  Personally, I’m not even sure Cory can spell dermatologist, luckily he seems to know that isn’t his ideal career path.

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