Bye Bye Banana’s The Challenge: Battle of the Bloodlines “Out for Blood” Recap

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So remember a couple of days ago when I wrote that this game was rigged after Banana’s managed to talk Jenna into voting in Cara Maria and her cousin Jamie to face off against Abram and his brother, guaranteeing that one of the biggest threats to his winning would be eliminated.  Then at the end of that post I wrote that it seemed like a lock for Banana’s to get another title with how weak the remaining teams were.  Well it looks like I might have spoken a little too soon, because this week we saw Johnny and his creepy cousin Vince get sent packing.

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This Season is Rigged, The Challenge: Battle of the Bloodlines Recap

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Well, looks like I’m running a little behind schedule on my recaps, but better late than never right?  Since it’s almost time for this weeks episode I’m not going to go too far into things from last week, but there are a couple of things I need to get off my chest before we go any further on this season.

The most important thing we learned last week?  This season of The Challenge is fixed!  For seemingly the ten-thousandth time in challenge history Johnny Banana’s was able to somehow save himself when it seemed like the game was finally turning on him.  After being put into the elimination round for the third time, with Vince being a leader in the voting each time, Jenna decided she was finally done being a pawn for Banana’s and his creepy cousin.  Jenna even makes a deal with Cara Maria and her cousin Jamie that they will watch each other’s backs.  Even though Cara Maria was clearly lying when she said Jenna and Brianna would be their number one alliance, (clearly Abe and his brother were her top partnership) I still hoped that this would be enough to convince Jenna to actually turn her back on Banana’s.  Unfortunately, as we’ve seen frequently during her time on this show, Jenna can easily be swayed by almost any assertive male cast member.  Johnny convinces Jenna that they need to get rid of Cara Maria because Jenna wouldn’t be able to beat her in a final.  You know who else Jenna can’t beat in a final? Johnny Bananas!  Honestly at this point the only team Jenna and Brianna could probably beat in the final is Aneesa and her cousin, and even that is up for debate.  Despite how shady he has been this season Banana’s is still a better ally than Cara (just ask Tom about how good she is at saving teams in her “alliance”).

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Bitter Banana’s The Challenge Bloodlines “Blood is Thicker than Mud” Recap

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Is this the least likable version of Johnny Banana’s since The Island, is Aneesa the lamest lesbian ever?  Have Thomas and Cara Maria been murder by Ab yet? I’m making my triumphant (and possibly very brief) return to discuss all these topics and maybe more as I break down the latest episode of The Challenge: Bloodlines.

On last night’s episode of The Challenge we saw Johnny Banana’s screw over yet another member of his seriously dwindling alliance.  Banana’s comes up with the always controversial plan for the red team to throw this week’s mission in an attempt to place nemesis Cara Maria in an elimination round and hopefully send her home.  (Although honestly what girl on the red team could possibly beat Cara Maria in an elimination, getting rid of Jamie, Cara’s cousin seems like the much easier plan).  After the blue team puts in a fairly poor performance in a challenge that is essentially just crossing a cargo net over a big pit of water, Johnny puts his plan into place.  Johnny decides he and Anthony, his new bff will both fall, and in a particularly dirty move, essentially rips Rianna off the cargo net so she falls as well.  Banana’s lets himself fall immediately, but Anthony really goes for the academy award, putting up a long struggling battle before letting himself drop just before the finish line.  Despite their best attempts to take longer on the challenge,(both teams lost three players) the red team still claims victory over the lowly blue team.

Following their loss the blue team must decide which female player they will select for the elimination round.  The vote comes down to Kelly Anne and Jenna, and with the deciding vote Mitch inexplicably decides to send Jenna in instead of Kelly Anne.  (Someone really needs to help Corey and Mitch out, it’s never a good idea to help Banana’s alliance when you have no alliance yourselves).  However it doesn’t really end up mattering that her own team didn’t send her in, because moments later the red team votes to send Kelly Anne in as the second participant in the elimination round.  The “shocker” (if we can call it that at this point) is that Banana’s goes along with his team and votes in Kelly Anne, despite his supposed alliance with her cousin Anthony.  This is the second time this season Banana’s has not only done nothing to defend a “friend,” but has only personally thrown them in to the elimination round.  Obviously the betrayal of Nany, someone who has seemingly been close to Banana’s for years, was much more egregious than what he did to Anthony this week, but both were underhanded moves.  While Banana’s offered Nany some weak excuse about his girlfriend from home, and not wanting to look like he was favoring Nany too much, I feel like maybe this is just a return to the Banana’s of old.  The past few seasons we had seen a kinder, gentler Johnny Banana’s.  That fact ultimately came back to bite him last season when he was out played by Sarah and ended up going home just before the final.  I was left wondering if Sarah’s betrayal (which I personally greatly enjoyed) has turned Banana’s back into his old self, AKA the Banana’s from The Island that screwed over Paula, and essentially refused to feed any of the girls in response to limited food rations.  Whatever is happening with Banana’s this season, it doesn’t seem good for his game in the long run.   With the elimination of Kelly Anne and Anthony last night essentially the last piece of Banana’s alliance is off the show.

Speaking of alliances, let’s step away from Banana’s for second and talk about Aneesa, who could be in every alliance or no alliances at this point as far as I can tell.  I want to start out by saying I’ve always liked Aneesa, (actually I didn’t like her much on her original season of The Real World, but since then I’ve liked her) that being said I have no idea what is going on with her this season.  Aneesa, who until this season I was pretty sure was a pretty full time lesbian, ended up falling for Corey, who I’m pretty sure is a full time douche.  Corey just does not seem to be a nice guy.  Aneesa is the third woman we’ve seen him with on television, ans he’s basically treated them all like crap.  I get that he’s good looking, but come on Aneesa, he’s basically put you on blast every chance he’s gotten for the past couple of episodes and you still seem to have his back.  Corey pulled a Banana’s and went out of his way to vote for Aneesa this week when he easily could’ve just gone along with the rest of his team and voted for Kelly Anne.  I’m begging you Aneesa, get over this lame crush and put Corey in his place, and get back to being the lovable lesbian you’ve always been.

Following the departure of Kelly Anne and Anthony it’s unclear where things will go from here this season.  Cara Maria seems to be in a good place to finally get her first victory with a solid alliance of her cousin Jamie and Abram and his brother Mike.  It seems like things didn’t really turn south for Cara and Ab until they got back home, and possibly until they went on The After Show last week.  It will also be interesting to see what decision’s Jenna and her cousin make, as they are yet another team that feels betrayed by Banana’s.  (Side note, I really love Jenna, I don’t even know why really, but she’s usually good for at least one good one-liner each episode and she’s kind of a lovable underdog.  Unfortunately I think she could have some trouble when Zach shows up this season).  While I don’t know the outcome of this season, based on things I’ve picked up during The After Show, it seems like Banana’s might have burned too many bridges to pull off a victory this year.  Could we be seeing the end of Banana’s reign on The Challenge?  Could this be the year Cara Maria finally claims victory?  Could Abram maim the entire cast and cause the final to be cancelled?  I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.  I hope to be back next week to talk more about The Challenge, and possibly get into some Bachelor talk, but not making any promises, see you next time.

Thoughts/Questions/Comments: I can be reached on Twitter @NoOneGoesToClev

 

I hope Paula is Laughing Somewhere (The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II Episode 10 Recap)

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This week’s episode featured the exit of one of the top teams in the game, one of the scariest challenges in series history, and the biggest power move by a female player in challenge history.  As opposed to The Real World, which is still in limbo, The Challenge has been renewed for another season.  I take this as great news, The Challenge entertains me week after week unlike any other show, that being said, let’s get into this week’s episode.

The week’s episode opened with the remnants of Hurricane Nia blowing through the nomination ceremony.  Leroy finally calmed Nia down enough so that Sarah and Jordan could confirm they were still being sent in, and then it was time to head to the dome.

The week’s dome brought back a classic elimination challenge, “hall brawl,” the object of this game is to run down a narrow hallway, fight your way past your opponent and tag your partner at the opposite end, the partners then run back down the hallway, and the first time to ring their bell wins the round.  The winner is the team to take the best two out of three matches.  The no longer “roided-up” Wes is at a significant disadvantage against the much bigger Leroy, and clearly Wes knows this, as he dives at Leroy’s shins to avoid contact, rather than taking a big hit in the hallway.  Wes’s strategy does not pay off, and after (maybe) faking an injured neck, he and Theresa are quickly eliminated 2-0.  Following their elimination, Theresa whines and cries about how it isn’t fair she’s going home.  This is basically all Theresa has done since Banana’s and Nany got back into the house, further proving why she is one of the least enjoyable people to watch on these shows.

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The Skeleton’s Are Out of the Closet (The Real World Skeletons Finale Recap)

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This week marked the end of The Real World Skeletons, and many people have speculated maybe the end of the series as well.  It has been widely reported that The Real World has not yet been renewed for a 31st season, while The Challenge and Are you the One  have both been re-upped for another go.  It’s worth noting that The Real World wasn’t confirmed for season 30 until April of last year, so it’s not time to panic about the series ending just yet (source).  Instead of dwelling on the negative possibilities let’s jump in and talk about the finale (which was also pretty negative and dark, but who cares).

A large chunk of this episode focuses on the conclusion of the fight between Nicole and Jason.  We never see exactly what Jason did, but clearly he went way past the line for how a man should handle a woman, or anyone for that matter.  Nicole is quoted as saying he “threw” her, which sounds a little confusing and a lot inappropriate.  Nicole was understandably extremely upset at this treatment by her former best friend in the house, and by all accounts the two have still not repaired the bond they once had.

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Total Eclipse of the Heart aka The Return of Banany (The Challenge: Battle of The Exes II Recap)

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I loved this week of The Challenge, while I haven’t always been his biggest fan, things just don’t feel right without Johnny Banana’s in the house and we finally got him back this week.  But before we can get to the return of Banany, we’ve got some other things to cover, so let’s get started.

Wes is feeling great at the beginning of this week’s episode.  After eliminating his nemesis Johnny Banana’s earlier in the season, and pulling some Jedi mind tricks on Leroy to get him to throw in Zach last week, Wes feels like he is controlling the game, he just needs to make one more move.  Wes goes to Leroy and Jordan and asks them to agree to throw in Jay and Jenna for the final elimination.  Leroy will take virtually any deal offered to him, and is immediately on board.  Jordan and Sarah on the other hand are not so trusting of Wes and decide this isn’t something they can agree to.  Jordan also decides to mention Theresa being a bitch, which while true, doesn’t help him and Sarah much in the house.  Jordan also brings up that Wes is not the same “roided up” guy that he was in the past.  (Between this comment, winning the challenge, and admitting that he doesn’t need to get any “douchier”, it was a great performance by Jordan all around this week).  Just when it is looking like Sarah and Jordan might be heading into all remaining elimination rounds the group gets a message from TJ, and it’s time to make a surprise trip to the dome.

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Wine and Roses (The Real World Skeletons Episode 12 Recap)

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I had hoped to get this week’s post up earlier, but due to a lack of time and some writer’s block it didn’t happen.  Despite that fact I’m still excited to talk about the latest drama filled episode, so let’s get started.

Last week’s episode closed out with Madison getting flowers from an unknown sender with a card asking her to meet him for lunch.  All week it was teased that the latest skeleton was Madison’s ex-boyfriend, and most people assumed that meant the boyfriend she went through her heroin addiction with.  As the newest skeleton arrived however, we learned there are some places even The Real World won’t go.  The ex was not the one who led Madison down the wrong path, but another ex-boyfriend from around that time period who left Madison when her addiction to drugs was more than he could handle.

Despite the fact that he is supposed to be Madison’s more respectable ex, when they head out to the bar Madison says that she knows Skyler is a great time, and that he’s crazy.  Skyler then does his best to prove his insanity by squeezing a lemon wedge into his eye for no apparent reason.  One person not impressed by these antics is Tony, the suddenly jealous boyfriend.  Following the lemon squeezing incident Tony pulls Madison aside to remind her that there is no “Tony 2.0…there’s just Tony” (which caused me to think, “thank god”).  Something about the way Tony popped his collar while delivering this speech reminded me of another famous Tony, Elaine’s ex-boyfriend from Seinfeld, who caused Jerry to coin the phrase “mimbo.”  During this episode I finally realized that Tony really is a mimbo.  Tony loses some of his mimbo charm in the next sequence when he decides to take out his frustration on the flowers Skyler sent Madison by throwing them from the second floor to the kitchen below.  Tony tries to follow that up with throwing Skyler’s bed down, but Nicole overpowers him and he gives up and goes to bed.  There is a happy ending to this volatile situation however, as Skyler and Tony make up like bro’s the next morning, and after saying goodbye to Madison we’re down to one skeleton left for this season.

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You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling (The Challenge: Battle of the Exes 2 Episode Recap)

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As with The Real World, I am way late with my entrance to the blogging game for this season of The Challenge, but don’t worry!  I have been watching closely all season, and am excited to start sharing my thoughts with you as we approach the end of another quality run of The Challenge.

-Biggest take away from this episode: is it possible for Zach to be a bigger asshole.  I didn’t watch the second San Diego season, so my introduction to Zach was on Battle of the Seasons, and he didn’t make a great first impression.  The way he and Frank treated Sam, particularly during the final mission was disgusting, and quickly turned them into some of my least favorite challengers.  However over his last few appearances on The Challenge, Zach had really been growing on me.  He still acted like a douche occasionally, but generally speaking he seemed like a nicer, calmer guy, and he was even good for a funny soundbite from time to time.  This season has made me realize I was right the first time.  I wouldn’t ever say Jonna is my favorite person on these shows, but she’s far from my least favorite, and Zach has treated her like trash from the moment they stepped into the house.  This week, not only did Zach berate Jonna when she did nothing wrong, (her jumping off the truck at the end did not result in a DQ) he also cost the team a victory when he jumped too soon.  That night Zach makes a very half-hearted effort to apologize, but the apology quickly turns into another attack on Jonna who FINALLY says she’s done with him (I doubt that’s really true, but still nice to hear).

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Are we Sure Madison Should be Partying this Much (The Real World Skeletons Episode 11 Recap)

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I’m back, super late to the party, but still an enthusiastic guest.  We’re almost finished with the second gimmicky season of The Real World, and for the most part I’d say they’ve been a success.  The skeleton’s, aside from Tony’s, haven’t really delivered the drama that we got from the ex’s, but this season has been enjoyable none the less.  Also props to this season for mending some fences between Bruno and his brother, and Madison and her sister, it’s rare that this show helps heal the drama in someone’s life.  Anyways, enough with the overview, let’s get into my take aways from this weeks episode.

-Food really gets this cast fired up.  From Bruno going nuclear when the boys ate his burgers, (side note: even though I’m not a huge Bruno fan, I do ride with him on this one, people stealing your food is very upsetting) to Violetta losing it after having Jell-O thrown on her while she was sleeping, food really draws out a reaction from this cast.

-One of the big story lines this week was the arrival of Madison’s skeleton, and based on her sketchy past, it seemed like this could be the most explosive skeleton of the season.  However, instead of it being one of her former drug related associates, it’s her sister, and the potential for drama is squashed.  The visit mostly ends up being a time for the sister’s to reconcile, and work through the hurt that was caused while Madison was abusing drugs.  One bit on contention does occur between the two when Rachel (Madison’s sister) is not eager to party with the housemates at the club.  Rachel says she didn’t come to the house to party, and this brings up a good point.  Should Madison, someone who has only been clean a little over a year, be out partying all the time on this show.  As someone who has made several questionable decisions themselves while intoxicated, it seems like this is not the best course of action for Madison.  Just look at the recent relapse by Josh Hamilton, someone who almost certainly has a bigger support network than Madison, and it seems like coming on this show might not have been the best thing for her. (Of course I haven’t heard anything about her having a relapse, so I might just be completely wrong about everything).

-Has there ever been a relationship that seemed more doomed to fail than Tony and Madison.  Tony agreeing with Bruno that Rachel is better looking is just the latest sign that these two have zero chance of staying together long-term.  As pointed out on the excellent Right Reasons podcast on Grantland.com, Tony has a tattoo of his name spelled backwards on his shoulder.  Fun fact about the name Tony, in reverse it spells y not, which seems to be Tony’s approach to women.  If a girl approaches Tony at the club and wants to make out, his mental response “why not.”  Tony’s behavior would be reasonably acceptable for a college frat guy, but seeing as how the show lists his age as 26, it’s really time for Tony to grow up and act like more of an adult.

-The other major storyline this  week was the birth of Jason’s baby.  Congrats to him, he seems pretty genuine in his determination to be present in the baby’s life, unlike his own father who was absent while Jason was growing up.  It was nice to see the guys support Jason in this moment, sadly Nicole was the missing “wolf pack” member, as she had to go back to Brooklyn for a few days for her job as an EMT.   It will also be interesting to see how new daddy Jason reacts to the arrival of his skeleton, reportedly his absentee father.

That’s all I’ve got for this week.  Next week looks fairly promising, we will see who the flowers Madison received at the end of the episode are from, and Tony doesn’t appear to be the guys biggest fan (another reason these two are doomed).  Also there is a confrontation between Tony and Sylvia/Jason, after Tony steals a bottle and is called “white trash” by Sylvia, and finally it appears that Bruno’s romance with Carla may be coming to an end.  Things are winding down, but it looks like this season still has some gas left in the tank, see you next week for another recap.

Thoughts/Questions/Comments? Feel free to contact me either via email: SHMcG223@gmail.com or on Twitter: @NoOneGoesToClev

Welcome to the Sh*t Show (The Real World Portland Episode 11 Recap with Bonus Sh*t they should’ve shown)

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Here we are folks, it’s the episode we’ve been waiting for!  This week’s episode starts out a little slow, but by the end we’re into the full-blown brawl between Nia and Averey that the show has been teasing all seasons.  Before we get there though I’ll touch on the other topics covered this week such as Jessica’s burgeoning relationship with God, her deteriorating relationship with Anastasia, and Daisy’s shitting problems.

This week open’s with Jessica having a revelation following her painful break up with Tyler.  She has decided she needs to take an oath of purity and not engage in relationships that ultimately don’t go anywhere.  Anastasia feels this way of thinking is foolish as it limits your ability to learn  and grow from past relationships.  Ana becomes frustrated and ultimately has to storm out of the yogurt cart (I’m guessing she really wishes she’d just worked at Pizza Schmizza with everyone else right about now).  While Jessica is at the mall buying her purity ring to show how serious she is about this decision, Averey mentions that she could never take that kind of oath. (Not much of a revelation there, don’t think many nympho’s decide to take a sudden purity oath).  Most of the roommates agree that the purity ring is more of an attention grab for Jessica than an actual moment of spiritual clarity.  Anastasia is so annoyed by the idea that this is just another attempt to get attention by Jessica that she finally confronts her, and ultimately tells her that she doesn’t feel like they can be friends any longer.  Jessica responds by saying that back home “she loves everyone and everyone loves her.”  (This just goes to show that people in the south are too polite, poor Jessica thinks all those people actually like her).

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