The weather is turning warmer, flower’s are blooming, this can only mean one thing. It’s time to lock yourself inside and watch hours and hours of desperate people trying to find love. It’s bachelorette season! Last night the new season kicked off with a two-hour premiere that seemed to go by a lot faster than the three-hour marathon before the start of Chris’s season of The Bachelor. If you haven’t watched last night’s episode yet, or even if you have, I highly suggest checking out Juliet Litman’s interview with the two ladies. Despite what it looked like in the past, Kaitlyn and Britt seem to genuinely like each other, and Britt comes across as dramatically less annoying when she isn’t crying over Chris ever 15 seconds. That being said, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover so let’s get started with the limo introductions.
Before the men arrive Chris Harrison tells the women the men will decide which of them is selected as The Bachelorette. Britt with her trademark upbeat personality is accepting of this twist, and feels the process will still be successful. Kaitlyn on the other hand just looks pissed, and her response after Britt finishes talking is, “yea, we’re very different people.” After a few more words of encouragement from Chris Harrison is time for the guys to arrive. Initially production show’s a lot of support for #TeamBritt, most likely to try and throw off all the spoilers for the last few months that have Kaitlyn being the winner of this love battle. There were far fewer crazy stunts coming out of the limo than in past seasons, probably due to the time crunch of having to talk to both girls. JJ brought and hockey puck and told Kaitlyn he’d love to “puck” her, which she thought was hilarious. Joe brought a jar of moonshine, and Justin, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear brought balloons and took a shot of helium before chatting Kaitlyn up. After meeting Shawn B. who literally swept Britt off her feet before turning to Kaitlyn and saying that she was his reason for coming, Kaitlyn runs into the house to say see the guys for a second and my new found good feelings towards Britt went out the door. Britt complains that Kaitlyn going inside of unfair and “cheating.” Question for Britt: Why didn’t you just run in after her? Britt should know by now that all’s fair in love, war, and crazy reality shows where desperate people fight for screen time in an effort to find love (or an acting contract).
The big drama of the night is Ryan M. and his level of intoxication. Aside from the rape joke, which was clearly in bad taste, and one of the only times I really believed he was wasted, I kind of liked Ryan. Most of the things he said were funny, and it seems pretty clear he came on this show to be the funny, crazy guy on night one and not because he actually wanted to marry Britt or Kaitlyn. Unfortunately for Ryan, Chris Harrison catches wind of the fact that someone might not be there for “the right reasons,” and he gets an early ride out of the mansion and back to the junkyard. (Ryan M. listed his profession as junkyard specialist, in case anyone missed that in his bio).
Aye yi yi, Juany Pabs what are you doing? Last night the loveable latino single dad continued his trek down the path to being the most hated bachelor of all time. I want to give Juan Pablo at least a little bit of the benefit of the doubt, and say that the language barrier still may be playing a role in making him come across so poorly on television (also the edit by producers is obviously effecting our view of him). I guess like Nikki and Clare heading into the final rose ceremony a part of me still wants to believe that I wasn’t dooped into thinking Juany Pabs was a good guy. Like all the other viewers along for this journey, I’ve logged a lot of hours with this years bachelor, and it’s disappointing to get to the end only to realize he may just be an insensitive jerk. In his defense he has no obligation to be in love with Nikki or Clare or anyone else from this show. Not many people are going to find “Forever Love” in a group of 27 members of the opposite sex, even if they were hand selected for you (as is evidenced by the lack of lasting couples from this franchise). The issue is, for a guy who has constantly played up his honesty throughout the season, Juan Pablo really didn’t come across as very honest or sincere in the shows closing moments. Rather than admitting to loving, or not loving Nikki, Juan Pablo kept insisting the information was private. Honestly I thought their relationship looked a lot like the one between Jenna and Jay on the current season of The Real World, where one person (Jenna or Nikki) is saying “I love you,” and the other person refuses to say it back, but still feels they are part of a happy, healthy relationship. In Jay’s case a big part of the reason he refuses to say the words is because he just isn’t interested in being in a committed relationship, and Juan Pablo kind of seems to feel the same way (he did ask to keep both women at one point during the finale). After taking the season long journey with Juan Pablo and Nikki I just can’t see this couple working out, and last night did nothing to quell any doubts about their future. Last night did however put an ending on one of the most awkward, and yes, as Chris Harrison would say, dramatic, seasons in the history of The Bachelor, with that in mind let’s talk about what happened last night.
If last nights special taught us one thing it’s that most of the “ladies” from this season are not big fans of Juany Pabs. It’s can’t be a good sign for Juan Pablo when two of the three women making an effort to defend him are women who left the show of their own accord (Sharleen and Andi). The women echoed Andi’s parting sentiment that Juan Pablo didn’t seem interested in them, and never really tried to get to know them on a deeper level. The only person who didn’t bash Juan Pablo’s interest in them was Sharleen, she said she found him to be quite “curious” about her and the world around them (of course she is the panda in a room full of brown bears, so obviously he was more curious about her than the other girls). Last nights Women Tell All special didn’t really tell us a lot we didn’t already know, (other than just how many women from the cast seem to be harboring sour grapes towards Juan Pablo) but I’ll cover the highlights here anyways.
-Man, The Bachelor is excited that Sean and Catherine got married, and even more excited that they’ve now had sex. The show apparently thinks we’re really into Sean and Catherine’s relationship too because they trot them out to tell us all about their honeymoon.
-All we really find out during this visit with America’s favorite couple is that Sean’s “fireworks” aren’t as explosive as he may think, and he’s already gotten some side action from a stingray.
-I think Andi did a good job summing up Juan Pablo’s intentions on the show when she said he was there to find a girlfriend whereas most of the women were there to find a husband. This helps to explain why many women felt they never got beyond surface level conversations, and also explains the fact that Juan Pablo doesn’t seem remotely close to marrying either Nikki or Clare.
-You know these women really aren’t big fans of Juan Pablo when they all defend Clare and say she did nothing wrong during the romp in the ocean in Vietnam. The women all agree the hot tub hook up during the date was more upsetting and that was Juan Pablo’s idea not Clares’.
Last night was night number two of this week’s bachelor extravaganza. Last night was the “fantasy suite” episode, usually one of the most anticipated episodes of the season for all involved parties, and I’m happy to say that last nights episode didn’t disappoint. Ok, so actually like 90% of it was pretty dull and disappointing, but the realization by Andi that Juan Pablo is actually a mimbo who speaks very little English and their ensuing argument made up for all the other boring things that happened. In fact since that was the only interesting thing, that’s all I’m really going to talk about here. So now here are my take aways from the epic argument between Juan Pablo and Andi (with a touch of Clare and Nikki at the end just so they don’t feel left out).
-Andi finally realized that Juan Pablo knows nothing about her, and doesn’t really seem to want to. In other words Andi just realized that Juan Pablo has no idea what she’s been saying this entire time, and he can’t have a long conversation because he barely speaks English.
-While I think most of Andi’s issues with Juan Pablo were completely legitimate, I have to question her being upset about him mentioning the overnight with Clare. Is talking about the other women with the bachelor a taboo? I think it seems weird to never acknowledge their existence, but maybe that’s what you have to do to get past how ridiculous the show your on is.
-There clearly wasn’t a lot of action in the fantasy suite between Andi and Juan Pablo because she has obviously had some time to put together her case against him. I would say that Andi went from being borderline in love to hating Juany Pabs in the course of a single night.
For anyone who hasn’t been satisfied with just two hours of The Bachelor every week, this time around we get four. Last night Juan Pablo went and saw the ladies hometowns, and to the surprise of absolutely no one sent Renee packing at the end of the show. (He wouldn’t even kiss her on camera because he claimed to be worried about what her son would think, so the fantasy suite probably would have been a little dull for these two). Once again I am in a bit of a time crunch this week due to real life responsibilities, so I’m just going to share a few observations from each of the hometown dates, and then rest up so tomorrow I can be ready to recap what goes “horribly wrong” in the fantasy suite during tonight’s episode.
Hometown Date #1: Nikki in Kansas City
-Despite being better at eating barbecue and riding a mechanical bull than she expected, Nikki still isn’t ready to drop the L-word on Juany Pabs. (I kind of thought she already told him she loved him a week or two ago, but maybe she just said “I’m falling in love with you” and I got confused).
-We learned during dinner that the bachelor/bachelorette rides first class when they are flying overseas while their suitors are stuck back in coach. (I guess they really want to make sure connections between cast members are only made during official dates).
-We learned tonight that Juan Pablo likes to talk with his hands when he is nervous. His hands were flying all over the place during his sit downs with the fathers, probably to try to hide the fact that he doesn’t speak a ton of English.
My real life responsibilities have once again interfered with my fantasy life blogging. Based on that fact, and on this week’s episode being another trip to Snoozeville, I’ll be doing an abbreviated version of this weeks recap of The Bachelor. This week marked the final dates before the hometown dates, but Juan Pablo must have been confused because he brought the women to his hometown of Miami a couple of weeks early. In a move that really shouldn’t have surprised anyone, since she has been considering it essentially since day one, Sharleen decided that she and Juan Pablo just didn’t have the intellectual connection that she needed. Sharleen was given the first one-on-one date this week, and hoped that she would finally find the deeper connection she had been looking for all season, but the date turned into one make out session after another, and Sharleen decided she would stop wasting everyone’s time and pack her bags. I’ll miss Sharleen, it was nice to finally have a woman on one of these shows who wasn’t head over heels in love before she even met the bachelor in person. Sharleen is one of the few people in the history of this series to realize that the whole process is kind of weird and not really a good way to meet your soul mate. (Of course Sharleen also agreed to come on the show to begin with, so I’m not giving her too much credit).
The other lady headed home just shy of hometown dates was Chelsie. Chelsie seemed like a funny perky girl who might be fun to hang out with, but after a while her act got pretty old, both for me and seemingly for Juan Pablo. Maybe if Chelsie had been more willing to “dive headlong into love” during her one-on-one date with Juany Pabs things would have turned out differently, sadly for her we’ll never know. Chelsie and Juan Pablo never built a real connection, and it’s felt like she could be headed home anytime now for weeks.
This week, just to change things up, the producer’s decided to bring Juan Pablo and the ladies to “the perfect place to fall in love,” this week that place just happens to be New Zealand. (Does anyone else feel like they are going to more interesting places this year? During Sean’s season one of the places they went was Montana. No offense Montana, but you aren’t really stacking up with the globe-trotting they are doing this season). We are down to eight ladies vying for Juan Pablo’s heart, and with all of the long shots eliminated last week this will be the most interesting rose ceremony we’ve had this season. Mostly the rose ceremony will be interesting because it’s still very unclear who Juan Pablo is really connecting with the most, (kind of feels like nobody) so let’s get into this week’s dates and see if the we can get a better idea of who might be briefly engaged to Juan Pablo.
The first date this week is a one-on-one and it goes to the only person who hasn’t had an individual date yet, Andi. Both Clare and Cassandra express surprise that Andi got the first one-on-one. I’m not sure why Clare was surprised though, she should have learned last week that Juan Pablo loves playing a fair game. For the first part of their date Juan Pablo takes Andi to a place called “the squeeze.” In another attempt to get one of his harem to prove that they trust him, Juan Pablo leads Andi through a very tight corridor of boulders to a waterfall (as a bonus they have to wade through very cold water while making their way through “the squeeze.” The waterfall at the end is beautiful and after providing several make out scenes worthy of a cheesy romance novel it’s time to move on to the dinner portion of the date. I know I’ve said it before but they really need to get rid of the dinner portion of these dates with Juan Pablo. This week with Andi there is even less conversation than normal as their talk is interrupted by the geyser they are sitting next to going off and spraying them with water. All we learn is that Andi is on the show because she wants to find love and start a family, just like every other woman who has ever been on one of these shows (exception Sharleen, it’s not entirely clear why she came on the show). Luckily for Andi it doesn’t take much to impress Juan Pablo, and even though they basically couldn’t converse at all during their dinner she still gets a rose and will be safe for another week.
And we’re back with another thrilling episode of The Bachelor! Ok, so actually this week was a little dull, (again) but we’re going to talk about it anyways gosh darn it! This week the ladies and Juan Pablo continue their tour of Asia with a stop in Vietnam (I really hope Clare managed to buy a kimono somewhere before this stop). This week is sticking with the regular format of two one-on-one dates and a group date, the first date belongs to Renee so let’s get started.
Renee and Juan Pablo’s date is a Bachelor classic, just walking around a foreign city looking at stuff. To make this date even more fun it’s apparently extremely hot, as both Renee and Juan Pablo are sweating through their shirts. The pair get a custom dress made for Renee, (by a woman who spoke less English than Juan Pablo) get yelled at by a street vendor while trying to get some mango, and then enjoy an extremely hot (temperature wise) dinner together. During dinner the couple discusses their children (aka the one thing they have in common) and Juan Pablo blows on Renee’s face to try to cool her off. Having someone blow in my face is not a method I’ve ever used to cool off, and personally I didn’t think it looked too effective. To end the night Juan Pablo and Renee put lanterns in the river after making a wish. Renee, who still hasn’t been kissed by Juany Pabs says that is her wish. Juan Pablo shuts Renee down again however, using the logic that he doesn’t want Renee’s son Ben to be upset with him. Don’t feel too bad for Renee though, she gets a rose and finally gets her kiss later in the episode.
This week Juan Pablo and the ladies headed out on their first trip abroad, making their first stop in the quest for love in Seoul South Korea. This week’s episode features two group dates, a one on one date, some cattiness between the women, and some of the early favorites going home. As always there is a lot to cover this week, so let’s get started!
The first group date belongs to Nikki, Danielle, Chelsie, Kat, Elise, and Cassandra. The ladies get to meet K-pop super group 2NE1, and after learning a dance routine are invented on stage to perform with the group. Kat, who has been dancing before she could walk,(seems unlikely, but that’s what she said) is super excited about this date and feels that she is by far the best dancer (former NBA dancer Cassandra is also on this date, and they looked pretty even to me, despite Kat’s best attempts to steal the show). Ignoring Kat’s opinion of herself, the real star of this date was clearly Nikki. Nikki is not digging hanging out with the other women in the house, and before the even leave for the date Nikki says: “the card says ‘pop’ and my head is about to explode.” Nikki also mentioned in her profile on The Bachelor website that drunk dancing is her best type, so this date is clearly not one she would have selected. Nikki even demonstrates later in the date that while her outside face is smiling her inside face looks like this:
Some people felt that Nikki’s behavior during this episode was a little bitchy, but I felt she was acting like a real person, rather than a super excited bobble head that will end up winning a husband based on dancing skills. (That may have been a little harsh, I may really just side with Nikki because I would have been even more miserable in this situation). Despite Nikki’s hopes that they would be performing in front of the “South Korean school for the blind,” the women arrive at a giant mall and find out they will actually be performing in front of four stories worth of screaming k-pop fans. The theme of the evening portion of the date is “Nikki vs. the other women.” Nikki expresses her feelings that some of the women (like Kat) are fake, and are putting on a performance, particularly when the cameras are around. The other women feel that Nikki is negative and that negativity means that she would be a bad mother. I think the ladies are overreacting a little here, just because Nikki doesn’t like them that doesn’t mean she would be a bad mother. Nikki is a pediatric nurse and probably has more experience with children than most of the other women in the house. Luckily, Juan Pablo can appreciate the fact that Nikki seems to be a real person, and not someone putting on a show to get his attention, and she is rewarding with her second group date rose.
This week’s fairly dull episode of The Bachelor was far overshadowed in the news by a misstep from the shows star, Juan Pablo. The controversy started when Sean Daly of TheTvPage.com asked Juan Pablo if he thought it would be a good idea to someday have a gay or bisexual bachelor. Juan Pablo’s response started out ok, when he opened by saying: “I respect them, but honestly I don’t think it’s a good example for kids to watch that on TV.” While some people might not like that answer, this wouldn’t have been much of a news story if he had just stopped there and not gone on to give a long-winded explanation of what he meant. The real problem arose when Juan Pablo said this during his explanation of why it wasn’t a good idea – “There’s this thing about gay people. It seems to me, you know, and I don’t know if I’m mistaken or not. I have a lot of friends like that, but they’re more pervert in a sense and to me the show will be too strong, too hard to watch on TV.” Juan Pablo found out quickly that describing gay people as more pervert is going to land you in a lot of hot water. Juan Pablo turned to his Facebook page on Saturday to try to explain his comments, stating he meant to say gays and bisexuals are too “intense and affectionate” for television. (This from the guy who is on pace to make out with every woman from his season). While his views may be a little out of touch, I think the use of “pervert” was a genuine mistake in language usage from a man who does not speak english as a first language. I also think the question was a little unfair, and was meant to create controversy, when to be honest, this country is nowhere near ready to have a gay lead character on The Bachelor. I think we’re at least several years away from this being a real possibility. When Ellen DeGeneres being a spokesperson for JCPenny causes a wave of complaints, it’s clear society isn’t ready to watch a single gay or bisexual person search for love on a reality show. I’m not saying I agree with these views, but I think as a country we just aren’t there yet, and it’s silly to blast a reality star for expressing their views. On a side note, something about a bisexual season of The Bachelor seems really intriguing, I think they should work on getting that idea together. (If you want to read more about this issue you can view the article I quoted from here, or just Google it, the story has been all over the place the last couple of days). Anyways, that’s enough serious stuff for now, let’s move on to this week’s episode of The Bachelor.